ITP/ Current Developmental Practices/Growing Edge


Recently, I’ve been feeling stuck in my growth. Often in my life it’s a sequence of one step forward, two steps back. I definitely feel I am in the steps back sequence.
Work: I’ve worked in my job for 17 years. I am still trying to maximize my growth here. I started DDO here but it never took off as I would expect so right now I am backing off and focusing on me. I’ve contemplated doing massage school because I think it is something that can invigorate me.
Body: I start work at 6 but get up for a 5am yoga on Tuesday. Ideally, would love to do this 4-5 days a week, but it is the only class offered at this time. I have contemplated doing a crossfit workout at that time. I am valuing my sleep over doing this at the moment. Most nights I am getting to bed after 10 which gives me around 7 hours of sleep. I am still getting some swims in after work before my kids get home.
Parenting: My oldest child is taking meds for ADD and mood regulation. It’s a challenge for me in the sense of just being present for him and my daughter.
Marriage: I would really like to feel that we are supporting each others growth. At times I back away if I get hurt intentionally or not.
Addiction: Currently having about 2-3 drinks every night and a couple of puffs of pot nightly. I know I am numbing myself to some of the grind. I had been sober until pot became legal. I tend to think of it as more of a spiritual drug and I’ve made a choice to be a “fake yogi”. Not sure I am ready for the sainthood yet.


Diet: Recently started the Keto diet. I have had good results so far. I think I have done it about a month and I’ve lost about ten pounds/ 2-3% body fat.
Sleep: I need to prioritize getting more sleep. I tried to going to bed at 9 yesterday (ended up falling asleep around 10). I think this will help me be more clear headed during the day.


Yoga: Was able to get up a bit earlier and do ten minutes of yoga before work. Baby steps. It felt good.

Integral Zoom meeting: I was able to participate for a short period of time on Sunday with a group that does a Zoom meeting on Integral Theory. It was nice to see so many other perspectives on Integral: all knowledgeable and enlightening!

Reflections I have this morning on this site and Integral is while debates can be healthy they can also drag my practice into cerebral arguments. For me it is so important to ground my practice in tangible personal growth goals. Getting an understanding of Integral is vital but I also don’t want it to be detached from what I can control. I work with a group that are centered in Orange/Amber and I have to remind myself that some perspectives are outside of my control no matter how much I think they are not informed. All I can do is inform a bit but remind myself to not throw pearls to swine.
Have a good day everyone! What else are people doing to prime their personal growth?