Thank you Ray for generously sharing your reflections and insight and hats off for the courage to jump right in and put it into practice!
You shifted from first gear (noticing what you are doing), to second gear (accepting, okay, this is going on and…) popping in the liberating inquiry. And then third gear is receiving the insights that mean yes, implementing on these insights.
Truly an integral practice!
Any of these wise efforts are worthy of celebration. Stay strong and remember to celebrate your awakening.
Thank you to my Practice Partners for your curiosity, interest and courageous presence. Today we practiced an integration of NAIL Freedom & Flow and a HOPES Up in 3 process, also called 'Creating Change in 3 Steps".
May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears.
Here is the slide to help you focus on your Highest Hopes for yourself
Through inquiry and reflection, we shone a light into our thoughts about ourselves and how these feel in the body.
I offered a question I learned from Diane Musho Hamilton in the face of self-criticism: “What’s right with this?”, helps us recognise that like Sisyphus, we are engaging in futile efforts in an attempt to meet our needs.
Follow this reflection with the inquiry: “What do I need?” (the “I” in N-A-I.L where we inquire into our real interests). This frees us to look at more useful efforts to meet our needs such as safety, connection, and independence.
Finally, you are invited to harvest your memories of those times you did show up for yourself and develop this memory into a resource. Play with some “I AM…” statements that will help you be more resourceful and free.
Greetings again, partner practitioners. Thank you for your dedication to your integral life practices.
Today’s focus was on integrating aspects of our lives. In this session, the aspects were: Presence, Observation; and Reconnecting to Self (and Recovering from Reactivity). We created an impression of a Power Guide, starting with a symbolic representation of someone who embodies these qualities.
Here are the steps of this guided visualisation that is also a daily practice.
Integrating the Aspects of One’s Life
Steady mind and body
Create the Composite (compose symbolic representation)
Release attachment to shortcomings
Encapsule aspects (create new “iconic” symbol)
Elevate aspirations
Notice, note and name thoughts &feelings (journal)
Strategize (set intention for an upcoming activity)
Find details on these aspects/strengths in Pathways to Liberation, by Jim Manske et al (available as creative commons resource) http://radicalcompassion.com/
If you feel so inspired, for the next week, pause regularly to connect with your intention to be more present.
BEING PRESENT
Description:
Being attentive to what is happening right now. Not lost in thinking, emotional reaction, etc.
INTEGRATED
Relaxed alertness to what is happening in each moment, with a sense of purpose & choice; openness to what is, with resourcefulness, interdependence & a perspective of past & future.
Looking forward to practicing with you at our upcoming session, where we will have the opportunity to contemplate on our aspirations, dreams and desires for our lives (personal and/or professional), what support we can hope for, and what is necessary to transform, to be better aligned to our intentions.
Within our dreams and aspirations, we find our opportunities.
~Sugar Ray Leonard
Thank you for creating this community of practice and your generous and inspiring sharing. I love this reminder from Tibetan teacher, Nyoshui Khen Rinpoche
Why is your sense of possibility, your sense of aspiration so small? Why is it so blunted? Why is it so meagre? Why not aspire to be a fully liberated being for the sake of all beings? Why not?
May you stay well and safe as you transition into the New Year. May you always elevate your aspirations, welcome the support that is possible for you, surrender what gets in the way of your flourishing.
In our upcoming session where we will explore how NAIL Freedom & Flow corresponds with the 3 core factors of compassion: Mindfulness, Common Humanity and Kindness. In particular, we will practice befriending ourselves.
Thank you to all who showed up with a commitment to freedom and flow! Your presence and participation is deeply appreciated.
An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathetically hold both parts of ourselves, the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place. The process of mourning and self-forgiveness frees us in the erection of learning and growing. In connecting moment by moment to our needs, we increase our creative capacity to act in harmony with them.
Participants who wrote a self-compassionate letter every day for a week reported lower symptoms of depression and greater happiness three months later than they had beforehand; they also seemed happier and less depressed three months later than participants who had written about an early memory every day for a week. Their increase in happiness persisted six months later.
FOCUS OF THE DAY: A Daily Self-Inquiry Practice
NAIL Freedom & Flow reflects foundational questions I have gathered over the years as I studied the questions successful people ask themselves throughout their day.
Notice & Note
In this practice, when we notice the Judge of Self (inner critic) and make a gentle non-defensive ‘note’, which is as simple as telling oneself: “there goes the inner critic again!”, - we develop the habit of disarming self-judgment.
We deepen the practice by bringing in some embodied awareness practices e.g. noticing ‘what is present’ -… the thoughts, sensations, feelings one is experiencing in the moment. This is also a loving act of self-liberation that moves you from self-judgment to self-understanding.
In our upcoming session, we will practice the Inner YES Method, a daily self-inquiry practice of pre-eminent scholar and negotiation expert William Ury (Getting to Yes with Yourself, How to get What you Truly Want).
There are 6 sets of inquiry. Here is a taster of the first YES… Put Yourself in Your Shoes
I hope you will give it a go: noticing and noting the inner critic at work and bringing curiosity, and care to the experience.
I look forward to practicing with you.
*Notice & Note is the “N” of NAIL which then extends into the “A” of NAIL i.e. acceptance of what is happening - the inner critic is at work, these thoughts are happening, these feelings are here now… attuning into the feelings as a source of liberation and feedback.. the “I” of NAIL has levels of inquiry - this being the first level.
In our upcoming NAIL Freedom & Flow session, we will test drive a daily self-inquiry practice called the Inner Yes Method by William Ury. There are 3 yeses to get to daily in the negotiation with oneself:
Saying Yes to Self
Saying Yes to Life
Saying Yes to Others
And, yes, this makes it more likely to get what we truly want in life.
*Inner BATNA - Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement. I use my term VISOOO = Victory In Spite Of Objective Outcome! Whatever the other party does or doesn’t do, even if one cannot come to the desired agreement, there is still a win within!
Thank you for those who managed to get into the room. We had a deep and focused practice. My apologies to those who were not able to connect for today’s session.
I do have an excellent resource for you with details on each “YES” of the Inner Yes Method. You can download it at this link:
I can send you the PDF of the slides we used for today’s session. Contact me via here or the contact sheet on my webpage and I will make that available. I will try to load it on my site tomorrow too.
May you be well and safe. May you continue to prosper from your practice.
NAIL Freedom & Flow is a rich method of self-inquiry to get to yes with yourself so you can say YES to Life, YES to others and get what you truly want in life. Enrich your mindfulness practice with a framework of contemplative practice to generate insight and engage in insight informed implementation.
We need to notice and we need to go beyond noticing to liberate ourselves in order to live authentically.
Being with the contents of awareness is not the only way to be mindful, and working with that material is not at odds with mindfulness.
In fact, in almost all states of consciousness, we must work with the mind at least a little bit to remain mindful. Wise efforts support wise mindfulness. ~Rick Hanson
In our upcoming session, we will explore this idea and framework, and how NAIL Freedom and Flow incorporates all three ways to support integration of strengths. It’s what I call “liberate the good and live your potential” aka “NAIL Freedom & Flow!”
At the end of the session, you will have clarity of how to put this into daily practice.
There are basically three ways to productively relate to your own mind. The first and fundamental way is to simply be with what’s there. Feel the feelings. Experience the experience… But that’s not enough… We also need to engage wise effort as well. To make deliberate efforts to, in the second practice, reduce the negative, release tension in the body, let the feelings flow, challenge,… And there’s a place for the third great way to practice. Now that we’ve released the negative, what do we replace it with? ~Rick Hanson Ph.D
I look forward to practicing and exploring these ideas with you.
The question in question is an idea based on the premise that within every question is a deeper core question. Come and develop you self-inquiry practice in our upcoming session of NAIL Freedom & Flow.
We explored ritual and ceremony, bookending our days in new ways that have a direct impact on the neural connections strengthened in the brain and those that are ‘pruned’. Read more in the ‘fastcompany’ article.
We shared our thoughts on the addition of ‘prolonged grief’ in the DSM, on the topic of letting go.
We also looked at how each way to engage the mind, correlates with how we get our needs met… our responsive and reactive efforts - as we related the enneagram to the systems of safety, avoiding harms and how circumstances around coronavirus impacts our need for safety. The second system activated to meet our needs is the approaching rewards, to meet our needs for satisfaction. Lastly we visited the “attaching to others” system to meet our needs for connection, belonging, acceptance.
I look forward to seeing you at our next practice.
As an appreciator of the art of self-inquiry, I am always on the lookout for how influential people have created their success through self-inquiry. Cy Wakeman’s simple questions have always been an inspiration and now she has finally published them… Today! ¨ This is the invitation:
"What might happen if you stopped believing everything you think?
What if observing your thoughts was followed with a pause, stepping back with questions, and self-reflection?
Employing these simple actions allows you to bypass ego and access the best part of your brain. The simple act of self-reflection is the ultimate drama diffuser and is an effective way to eliminate suffering."
The first of the 3 questions we will be playing with is this:
“What do I know for sure?”
How willing are you to keep challenging what you know ‘for sure’? What would be more useful and truthful to know for sure?
What if, instead of …
“… we could learn to use our minds to create happiness despite life’s ever-changing challenges and events. Life’s Messy, Live Happy by Cy Wakeman is about dramatically changing the level of happiness you feel in your daily life by learning to disconnect happiness from external forces and stop worrying about the future.”
[Book flap]
In this week’s session, we will get a taste of how, with a Taking in the Good practice based on the fact of neuroplasticity i.e. that the brain can alter in structure and function through our experiences and we can actively use our minds to turn everyday experiences into lasting inner strengths.
[Taking in the Good is the original name of the Positive Neuroplasticity Training, of which I am a licensed practitioner].
Thank you for courage and willingness to engage in this liberating self-reflection practice.
Here are the 3 questions that initiate self-reflection and set us free from self-imposed suffering. When we practice in this way, ‘we flip that toggle switch’; we move from acting from our ego-based stories and the reactive emotions they cause to a place where we have more options, opportunities and power.
*What do I know for sure?
This reveals your story and loosens the ego’s grip. It almost always reveals a less harsh reality.
How can I help?
This gets you out of victim mode and into the role of co-creator or compassionate contributor.
What would great look like in this situation? This is liberation. It shows your external circumstances don’t have to drive your decisions and actions. You can live your values out loud and with integrity and live your purpose with intention instead of reaction.”
Excerpt From: Cy Wakeman. “Life’s Messy, Live Happy”.
