Body image issues


#1

Hello everyone , i am really feeling embarrassed about my physical appearance , 1 am only 159 cm tall and 27 years old and I look very young for my age , i am using the integral mindfulness technique and trying to disidentify from my physical appearance and body image , but i am getting more concerned and conscious of my body image , i feel underconfident because of my height and i always keep comparing myself with others , can someone give suggestions on how I can overcome this


#2

Hi Neil, I don’t have a lot of time right now, so I will just throw some pointers in your direction, and then maybe see if something resonates with you?

First of all, I would always start with a lot of compassion, teach yourself to wrap yourself up in love and compassion, and see if you can tap into an energy that loves you completely as you are. This might sound alien, so what you might start with is the love for an innocent child or animal you know or can relate to and then try to stay with that energy and imagine yourself as a small child, directing all this love towards yourself. Then moving through your development until the age you have now, staying with this loving care and kindness towards yourself.

You can also imagine being someone who you believe could show this love towards you, a real or fictional person. Please do not expect this to be a one off endavour, it’s a practice I would repeat many times. And support yourself physically, get soothing massages, warm baths, wrap yourself up in a hammock or a blanket, listen to soothing bineural music, etc. (Many practice times later the final test is to sit (stand) in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and feel the love for yourself pouring out and back again :heart: But I would suggest to take a break from looking yourself in the mirror for a long while until you can feel that love )

Then I would suggest something like Byron Katie’s The Work, where you investigate your belief about yourself and imagine if it was the reverse. https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/

Good luck! It can be done :slight_smile:

PS - I have had partners who were of all heights, also lower than me, and I can honestly say that it really doesn’t matter. What I remember is who they were, not how tall they were.

PPS - I remember a Danish pop song from 1973, Mini Max, which is about a girl who at age 7 in school meets her best friend Max who is not very tall. I loved that song growing up. These are the lyrics, you can auto-translate them if you will (not very integral, but they are from 1973 :slight_smile: )

Mini-Max

Jeg started i skole da jeg fyldte syv,

og traf der den lille bitte Max.

Hans ben var så korte, I tror det er lyv

men Max han var altid flink og vaks

Vi kaldte ham for Mini-Max

han var sød og han var vaks

og selvom han var lille var han noget så pæn

og Max var min allerbedste ven

Det skete at lærer’n han sagde hør nu Max

kom her op til tavlen lille prop

og regn et par stykker men gør det nu straks

men Max han ku’ ikke nå derop

Vi kaldte ham for Mini-Max

han var sød og han var vaks

og selvom han var lille var han noget så pæn

og Max var min allerbedste ven

Når dagen var omme og alle slap løs

Så kom lille Max og sagde glad

"Lad mig ta’ din taske min egen lange tøs

og lad os begge altid følges ad"

Vi kaldte ham for Mini-Max

han var sød og han var vaks

og selvom han var lille var han noget så pæn

og Max var min allerbedste ven

Der gik flere år før jeg så ham igen

jeg ku’ næsten ikke kende Max.

Han tog mig om livet og sagde, "Hør min ven

hvis du har lyst så gifter vi os straks".

Nu har jeg ja min Mini-Max

han er sød og han er vaks

og selvom han er lille har han en god forstand

for Max han er nu min ægtemand


#3

Thankk you so much , the suggestions are really helpful