Grace & Grit (the book) and the brief mention of Ken hitting Treya


Hi all,

I loved Grace and Grit, i felt my heart brake open in the final chapter. So I recommend the book everywhere i go. My partner included. She read right up until the part where Ken repeatedly hits Treya. She feels, for all the reflective, spiritual work that Ken has done, he has a major blind spot here and glosses over the incident, with only a brief mention that they did some couples therapy and both learnt some things. Have others felt this was insufficient? Upon more of my own reflections, I think my partner has a point. We couldn’t find any follow up interviews or conversation online with Ken around this issue? She is frustrated that there was no consequences for his actions, in her words, “just another guy who gets away with abuse and worst in this case, revered and celebrated while this goes unnoticed.” I had to admit, that’s a fair call. For me, I assume he privately worked through and on his abusive behaviour, because he seems like the kind of guy that would do that. After all, he clearly violated his own principles and values. But I have to recognise, that’s an assumption of mine, its not fact.

In further conversations with my partner, I mentioned, “he didn’t have to put that in the book.” I asked, “would you have preferred he omitted that truth?” She rebutted with, “how do we know that was the only time? Statically, it’s not a one off with this sort of thing.” There was further back and forth that I’ll spare you. Does anyone know Ken personally that could share some insights? Or have Ken’s contact details so I could enquire directly? I want her to finish the book, but this is a major road block for her. Can you help?


Though I read it a long time ago, what I remember is that his disease sometimes causes violent behavior and that he attributed the assault to that.