I love these resources. Yes, Tara Brach uses her adaptation of RAIN, a self inquiry tool, on shame. The steps are to Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture. It’s an adaptation of the model by Michele MacDonald, a Vipassana teacher where I is sometimes ‘investigate’ or ‘interest’ and the N is non-identification.
The Nurture is particularly valuable when it comes to shame. Brene Brown, who is known for her work on shame, also focuses on the nurture aspect , sees empathy as the antidote to shame.
Self-compassion builds on empathy in that it includes the motivation to help or get help. Arguably, showing empathy to oneself can be seen as giving help. Kristin Neff, Chris Germer and Paul Gilbert all focus on self-compassion as the antidote to shame. Their videos on how self-esteem and self-worth play into the picture are powerful. Kristin Neff’s work is therapeutic and used mainstream, while Paul Gilbert’s is actually offered in ‘therapy’.
I have recently completed a course by Sarah Peyton called Authenticity, Belonging and Shame. Self-empathy is the primary focus where one works with body sensations and brings empathy to the parts that were impacted by shame. She integrates principles from non-violent communication into her work. This empathy angle is part of a ‘Resonant Self’ framework. She is know for her 9resonant language principles, one being the focus on needs and feelings and another being humor as a way to accompany the parts that were hurt.
I have integrated all 3 of the above approaches, deeply rooted in non-violent communication into my N.A.I.L Freedom and Flow model. You can find this in the ILP Dojo and an additional video has just been released on this platform this week.
Lastly, the CEB curriculum (Cultivating Emotional Balance), which was originated by Dr Paul and Dr Eve Eckman, identified 7 universal emotions (based on microexpressions). Later they added a shame and guilt component even though there is no distinct facial expression to track it. I will be attending a 3 hour workshop called Exploring Shame & Guilt, based on this curriculum in December '22 (offered by Tibet House) by my CEB teacher. Emotions are mapped on an emotional episode timeline and seen as reflecting a specific need to be met.
In brief, the primary tool is noticing/recognising the event, trigger and emotion. Naming the bodily sensations and identifying the needs these are alerting one too. Sarah Peyton’s work expands this empathy part to include making empathy guesses about the needs and uses phrases like: “Are you feeling shame (etc) because you are so wanting to be seen and accepted for who you are?”.
You can find an abundance of free guided meditations that take you through the process on her sites “yourresonantself” dot com. This will give you a feel for resonant language, bringing warmth to oneself, dealing with the inner critic, self-compassion and even time travel work.