It is also quiet nice if I see the issues of people who do their best to actualize and get called a cult having some similarities, as of right now I am relatively cult immune, everytime stuff get’s to culty or even me having some of these traits, I’d have to leave the space, but it makes it also very very evident, why I’d prefer to even have a system more like Shinzens if I want to do any engaging or growing in this space, as it’s more mutal, I don’t care about a scale that big as for e.g Paul Check or Leo, but still something wants to be a bridge for the conduit that happens generally between all of this and if it intersects with their Truth in teaching that would be super nice, generally with any truth seeker etc.
I also realize more how much healing I have to do and with which types of people I interact with, I still have to learn and attend definitely more retreats and do spiritual and psychdelic work, I just completely got gutted, by the issue of liberal v.s right politics, especially in how it develops, and the irony is the right side gives me more freedom than the left by what is happening, the left was only the conduit what seems to the right what got them lost etc.
I had these thoughts recently, as more and more of this seems to be happening, especially the responsible use of psychdelics by using law and guardrails, but the science seems a bit behind.
I also see the value of Leo’s critique of cannabis, as well as the issue of it as a ressources etc. also the issue of the plant and the relationship to the plant itself is something I have to reconsider.
This video above also shows me some of the issues I see with cult like Astrology, where I can see the differences in their approach and the members, I really enjoy archetypal and mythical work, and found some hard limits recently, by how I implemented it for growth, also the issue of TIER-2 people denying the type of mythological work, for me it’s a clash of ego consciouness v.s symbol consciouness as a construct that I read from Cook-Greuters paper.
Generally there seem to be some difference where I notice how valueable Chopras work is also, but this will take longer than I thought, especially after this massive setback, but it could also just jump start very quickly, as I laid the groundwork, a core issue there is also a core issue I will most likely have to face with eccentrics at one point, I see a subtle shift but I really have to dig into this first, as of now I am glad I am out of the science CULT as well as art CULT, I am a bit skeptical about it still, especially art when A.I is fully here, and digital goods etc.
Also generally some stuff, I should not write or share, but it also opend some doors, so I have to be careful who to share anything with, especially the excessive value greed and avarice in this A.I space and the ruler archetype etc.
Anyhow, I have to see how to get anything started, and see how this will end or receive, I pretty much presume some of these cult dynamics that I see from my aunt and these traits, I see them in specific people I watched this episode, as I had to deal with a lot of narccistic vanity upbringing, due to the culture wars etc, history etc.
I find this interseting, as I had a lot of narcissistic women in my life and it’s interesting to see how this space evoles, for me it was interesting at one point from my perception, how the psychologist realized science is a cult, and it was very good to see her perspective, but heck I was triggered watching this, as I knew little about their story, and it felt like the history of psychology issue with introvert v.s extrovert, where introversion was a psychological illness, we had nothing of this growing-up only the very very very subtle cultural narrative imo, and way more acceptance, but when people are older they seem so fixed on extroverted traits, as a kid it seemed so animalistic to me, especially when people only spoke one language, it was so weird, as I grow-up somewhat billingual, I had to read so much freaking body language it’s abnormal what I intuited, and some tips the psychologist gives is also very good, I am also training my perception of typology.
It also showed me how effective my healing work was, and that the person had a serious incompatability, I also see the entire “collective shadow” of this in Leo, which makes it tricky and some others, I don’t quiet know why, I could make a list of loose connections, but it comes down to massive crashes of survival that must seem unprecedented and sudden to them, and some issues about beauty revenge and envy, where I noticed the character of the person is quiet dangerous not hers, that is like the core issue of “role unconsciouness” etc. but tbh, I will truly have to see where this will take me, there are some negative narcissitic traits I adopted from Leo’s teaching as well as the core issue of my mother and some trauma, but I did so much work also in this, it’s better to work with what is there, for me it’s an entirely different issue.
Anyhow, it’s good to see this my healing journey that also lead to more god experiences was good, but there simply have been some core issues when it comes to relationships, where I noticed the 3-2-1’s I did was very good, but I am glad that in a sense Keith and Corey got me to stop doing so much shadow work, what I would write, is Hitler 4.0 because it’s so massive, I have to pick-up a lot of positive things, as people who don’t have the seem upbringing and are not trained to relate to the experience and provide solutions, support or guardrails.
I am still careful around this pattern of my aunt, as the person is quiet cult like, not a narcissistic but it’s a protection mechanism that must’ve happend to her, I grew up with a married lesbian aunt, that is a very different experience less than 1% of the people on earth most likely have, anyhow I can’t pinpoint this all, I would write a technical document or rule book in style, to sharpen the intuition is good, but this communal narcissism is something new to me as a trait or spectrum, especially how the person appeared in the family and denies it, and the issue of this generally speaking and what I faced with my friendships etc, as some of them were so good these peopel were my family, but it turned out in a weird way that I am contemplating they hinted at a lot of stuff that happend in my relationships where I have to wonder, anyhow I stop.
Especially some issue of commitment and accountabillity, have been massively derailing for me in terms of trust, that I recall that caused some forms of learned helplesness as people then do things for others out of revenge, which is very fucked, even just household responsibilities, where I already sensed the intelligence of survival, and the collective fear of hygiene etc. it was very very weird, growing up mostly with women, is not good for any type of accountabillity, a lot of the needs seem arbitary and needy to my own biology, and the person feels overwhelmed etc. just really small stuff I see more of it now, yet I still have a lot of anger towards my aunt, as the person has these communal narcissitic tendencies, generally the whole family, I have to sacrifice that part of myself for what they want or seem is good, and makes me loved for them, yet in reality I thought your fostering an authentic self based on semi-collective conditioning of what is non-conditional, but don’t see that moment as infused with spirit and go on living like animals, that was something I found odd, it’s very autistic also in a sense, I realize how autistic german society is as well as it’s people, especially when they are in denial of not getting from a person what they thought they’d be like and thinking people are literal bots & npc’s, I also had some of this and was shocked and quiet unsatisfied, but generally it was fine till this triangulation of this one person came in who spun my words to his advantage constantly, I already forgive him multiple times, as he also helped me, but I just see now how manipulative that person was, and again it’s the Leo archetype in a sense from my pov, I don’t know what to say, but it happend so often in my life recently and in others, that I can clearly see why this attention seeking behaviour is heavily juged by more mature people.
Anyhow, I stop there are some serious issues with use of language etc. I’d like to work with, but psychology as a whole does not seem as mature enough to integrate it automatically, I’d have to invest in it to do that and get that type of coaching with a person, working with my framework, which no psychologist will do, which makes working with a psychologist difficult, I wish here they had better modalities, but the entire field is so corrupt, the best things are these podcasts, shows and courses to work on yourself, as only you know yourself that deep.
I am also glad I made some progress, but this is something I purely acted on, by implementing the synchrodestiny framework from Deepak Chopra, I get value out of it, but it’s not easy, especially if someone is not versed with Jung, I get why I was also pulled to this, generally I feel a bit more ready, just generally sometimes I look back at the communal theft my aunt has done, and she calls this good.
I realize why I meet certain people in such contradictory ways and how or why it plays out this way, I also feel more ready to integrate certain strategies, at times I absolutely forget how or why I did things and I am still connecting to this, let alone my strategical strength for having a foundation, it’s odd when people steal foundations out of family, ethnocentric driven narcissitic community drives.
I am very glad I also realize some positive things about my mother, even when she was not the best, and some general issues, but yeah I have no idea how to work myself out of this b.s. because that is the upbringing s1 from this culture that is white does not seem to be able to touch, with a man I am pretty sure it’s possible to do this, but the relationship with women and the culture wars on a subtle level is very very weird, anyhow I stop sigh…
I also found some cool stuff at a store, but all in all it’s more of an issue with addiction and substances as of now, especially also that perfectionistism can a form of addiction.
But yeah I missed something very critical I just see now, but there will be structural fluctances simply, because of how people are here, I am glad I found ways to circumvent this, the largest pain is the theft that I perceived for my purpose, and the issue of the communal narccistic aunt, also the person when I least expected it sent me gifts, when I wanted none, I never sent gifts, it’s very exhausting and I am quiet dilligent and enjoy it, I don’t do it if it’s not genuient, and I enjoy anyhow I wonder if I can ever tell someone the full story of the b.s that happend, and if they can relate.
