I wanted to ask a question regarding meditation and also psychedlic experiences. I’ve been meditating now for approx. 5-6 years most of the time quite regularly. The last couple of years have been quite rough for me, therefore I’ve meditated only for small periods of time. Now I implemented a more stable structure again which is helping me.
I had this feeling around my solar plexus or chakra rung 3 for quite some time now and I definitely can tell from reading Ken’s books that I have a “dysfunction” of not wanting to control or not being in control.
After finishing the course integral mindfulness and understanding how power works in a more dialogical and monological aspect. I can’t quite grasp, yet how I can make it translogical. I have a decent amount of practices/ methods that I can draw upon and which I started again. For example a forgiveness practice as well as a gratitude practice, which help to manage my drive to control and allows a we space to fruition.
At the same time this power to control feels like it wants to be very “gaiacentric” or one with the earth. This is where my psychedelic experience kick in, since I felt I once became one with an animal, especially birds. The experience drove me deeper and deeper into a deep state of samadhi mentally.
I notice that I can use this power to control towards a more dialogical approach, yet I miss the translogical aspect and this is where I feel I can direct my power towards. It mostly feels like holding others pain or holding my own pain with a high level of concentration or completely releasing it.
I am training with the unified mindfulness system from Shinzen Young and attend retreats from time to time online. (14 days a year is the goal every year ). The point now is if I recall the concept correctly, since my enviroment is still in shambles in order for more order…
There was a concept IIRC in the religion of tomorrow called split mind and I often experience hearing voices, especially my name and the name of people I desire. Which is very very very weird.
I can not tell if I am fooling myself or this is part of something more spiritual in nature. For example when I go shopping and I feel that my 33% of a higher stage (according to SD) kicks in it feels very transpersonal it is like it is being forced into my cognitive understanding and this is where I feel I hear voices or spirits or call it what you want. It somehow drives my crazy sometimes because nobody can validate that experience when I ask them did you hear that or did you hear this.
Did anyone of you experience something similar ? While growing transforming and translating through the stages ? This also happens very often when I hear audiobooks, when I speak inside the audiobook it somehow “mirros back” my subconscious / chitta. Yet, this only works for me with spiritual audiobooks / timeless audiobooks like Eckhart Tolle or Shinzen Young or Allan Watts. Is this mirror mind ? There are so many deeps concepts in integral.
Did anyone else had the same level of experience ?
How does translogical power manifest in day to day life for you ?
Should I be worried ? I am often afraid of asking questions directly based on childhood experiences
This especially manifest if I practice in a sangha and when I think about holons or feel holons. Yet, there needs to be a receiver somehow who is morre deeply grounded. This all feels very weird.