Relationship indeed, gets pretty dam complex :), I find it gets even more so around the emotions and intimate ways of relating, or perhaps I’m particularly inspired by the thread’s theme. Knowing how you can and can’t form healthy relationships with various people. Edge, shadow as you say, and I would also add to that, sometimes the flip side to shadow talk I see which is just healthy boundaries or push back against any dysfunction no matter the stage, is a hard thing to juggle.
Lately I’m definitely struggling with my own edge, frustrated often by green and in dire need of someone holding my more complex perceptionsl. An example is very strong boundaries and the primal. Green does much to get in touch with the body and feelings, but it seems to focus on inner child and reconnecting with this, being kind of maternal in having everyone get along and be equal, but it’s not so great at protecting or taking a stand. With the relativism rife at green, whittling away a strong stance on anything objective there seems to be for them, less reason to be annoyed as truth and depth just aren’t cared about to the degree, but also this real blurring of safety/ calling out pathology as one’s own project shadow. Anything that ruffles feathers or calls out pathology, which would say this is higher and this is lower, just seems to be a no man’s land at green. Greens can grock in a peak state but I’m often frustrated by the lack of being able to deal with laying powerful boundaries, dealing with pathology, even evil at times I dare say which is a larger topic for the therapy world but I feel valid. If anger shows up, it’s more ‘my anger’ which tends to be more like a teenagers that wants there way, which can be valid, but it’s not about calling right or wrong, especially if it relates to group pathology as they seem far less aware of bias or group blindspot, or just don’t care as much with the agenda to have everyone be equal.
With this I see this overvaluing of simple emotions of the inner child. There is this cliched phrase of ‘you are too in your head’, and it often amuses me cause I want to say the opposite, ‘you are too much in the body’ where it can get histrionic, unstable/ triggered and unable to understand the higher meaning of any emotion or relational perception. As though any and all emotional expression is always wholesome, or a really strong desire to just have it stay in raw child emotions, because it sort of feels good, enmeshed and close for everyone. I find this personally challenging because I have a fair amount of trauma myself, there are times I’m not in touch with my feelings, and integrate more green than I’m aware of, and be with my inner child etc. But it’s hard to sit with when you also have integral perceptions, because I trust greens less because of the above, feel like I have to be very wary of their limits, or I’m left alone to deal with things they can’t carry, or worse I rub up against some sort of green bias and it gets messy. As I say I feel this has occurred with therapists even, which is hard to sit with. Relativism, a seeming lack of regard for what the facts are, or the world that’s actually there outside of my head, and a fair amount of what I list above has been quite the struggle to bump up against. That’s been a tough journey cause I certainly was not validating my own point or of high self esteem enough to think I was perhaps seeing things from a higher vantage. But I have started to muse that I think certain emotional expressions only click in at integral.
Would be curious of other’s take or struggles with green, or any other level for that matter.