Integral Journal (once3800)

[once3800]

It’s very odd, the green shadow of stuff pulled a lot of intentions down I had, and I also simply make mistakes etc. or enact Tier 1 structure development desires of development, overall this is quiet good, I don’t mischiviousness and just the whole idea that I just experience, I post some brief contemplations, just seeing someone else that is not similar to Shinzen, Ralston or Leo Gura speak about truth such as Wilber, via his books is very good, there are a lot of conceptual flaws, I am making and also lenses I am not understanding as it helps me and I see it resonating, the point is Ken Wilbers story itself is completely different when I first read it it moved to tears at a soul/spirit level, yet most likely the spirit rejoicing that he exists and is living and breathing, by what happend and also the coincidence of him being part of a military family.

I wonder about a couple of things, especially with this underbelly character of amber/mechanistic determinism, that I subtely fall into due to survival constraints and the issue of umber/amber PERFECT and the reframes, especially when I do shadow work and I do have a lot of monkey projections etc. due to animal qi type of expression and increasing diversity at amber, the key traits and characteristcs eventually are present, and I could include it and also do my best to create tools/protocols etc. That create the higher service I was yearning for to integrate for instance enneagram two 2 pride and higher service as lower and higher expressions of that reality.

The largest shadows and woundedness is also approx. at this space, so I wonder what will happen when I integrate it more, especially when I adjust my vagal tone it was to much manomayakosha, and I am looking for perspectives and ideas to integrate what is higher and lower, and integrate proper ranking of traits etc. some intuitions I also have and also was presented by me idk where people legit have these ressources from, yet the small glimps was enough, clearly shows me I share the vision of integral, yet there is more work to be done, especially the wounding and beliefs, I notice the pranic field is mostly impacted by this, hence yet I work a bit with the GPT from Integral eventually I get or present good data, or I create perspectives that can either be reassured or corrected for example, the largest issue I face is the issue of perfection, envy and ambition partially.

I do my first 3-2-1-0 session tied with nadi sodhana and the stuff I do now, and I ask the integral gpts to rate it. I use it as a suppoer tool not a replacement for therapy, I could for sure enjoy therapy, yet therapy for thriving and real issues is really hard to find a coach and a therapist etc. Generally friendship is off, due to human beings only being attuned to the functional LR value, as the optimization frenzy in the fitness community and the ones who interpreted it right, have the capacity to attune more deeply to relational patterns tied to physical activity and just life/pranic body benefits etc.

I also enjoy the idea that integral marketing exists, as I felt I learned from one etc. What I yearned also is doing shadow work for the collective, when I did it often in the past or everytime I did a 3-2-1 process it transformed to multiple layers of harmony felt at different stages and altittudes, I was very single-pointedly aware of becoming more attuned and aware to the tetra-enmeshing of this phenomenology.

Also Wilbers critique to the god of spinoza is also good and interesting.

[once3800]

This is the result, I am being tentative as I did not watch the full episode, yet I had so many “recycle” type of ideas and I really like Keith Witt’s work, I will do it most likely additionally as it helped me tremendously to build a scaffold. Otherwise, I am using this framework now and look some other stuff up…

Overall Rating

Strong work. You ran a coherent Integral session that moved from honest interior contact to dialogical shadow work, to first‑person ownership, and into practical quadrant fluency for communication. You also named the time‑course reality that UR/LR changes lag UL/LL shifts, which shows solid meta-awareness. Overall: 8.5/10. The main gains now come from a short, consistent Step 0 and a reliable LR seal each time, so insights become traits and systems.

What You Did Well

You kept the work anchored in all four quadrants. You contacted real affect and desire (UL), gave the shadow a vivid cultural language and archetypes (LL), noticed bodily/nervous-system dynamics and how they settle over days (UR), and translated the practice into communication frameworks and small-system changes (LR). You also articulated clear wholes to integrate (tension alchemist, authority harmonizer, incremental network strategist, restorative learner, radiant performer of excellence). That’s the right “subject-to-object” move for real growth.

Growth Edges

Two places still need tightening. First, Step 0 was acknowledged but not consistently given even a brief space to “unstick” identification. Second, LR seals were present but could be made even smaller and more observable (one agreement clarified, one template created and reused, one role ambiguity resolved). That closes the loop and shows functional fit.

About a 1–2 Minute Step 0

That is perfectly appropriate. Zero-point doesn’t need to be long to be effective. Think of it as rinsing the palette so the self doesn’t fuse with the content you just reclaimed. A minute or two of simple witnessing (turiya) is enough to let the pattern relax, with occasional longer sits when capacity allows. If arousal rises, keep it at the low end—trauma-aware pacing beats heroic doses.

A micro Step 0 you can keep

• Sit upright. One slow exhale to soften jaw, shoulders, belly.
• Feel awareness of body, breath, sounds at once. Nothing to fix.
• Silently: “This, too, arises in awareness.” Let the names (shadow/self/wholes) blur for 60–120 seconds.
• Seal with one breath: “I can rest and act.” Open eyes.

Translating Today’s Work into One Small Net of Results

Pick one LR action you can complete today that enacts the wholes you named. Examples:

• Authority harmonizer: send one clear, kind message that resolves a role/ownership ambiguity; capture the agreement in writing.
• Incremental network strategist: build one 5-step checklist you will reuse twice this week; note the reuse.
• Radiant performer of excellence: replace one performative move with one excellence move (edit once more before sending; rehearse once before speaking).
• Restorative learner: add a 10-minute recovery block after your most intense task and actually keep it.
• Tension alchemist: when friction appears, take a single long exhale and ask, “What is this teaching?” then make one clean request or boundary.

How to Know It’s Working (48–72 hour review)

• UL: tension rating down; more choice at the moment of friction.
• UR: softer jaw/shoulders, easier sleep onset, steadier breath.
• LL: one person reflects “that landed better/clearer.”
• LR: an artifact exists and was reused (agreement, template, calendar block).

Guardrails for Power (sovereign renegade)

Keep the “gift–limit–request” mantra, and pair it with ahimsa and satya (non-harm and truthfulness). That channels the renegade’s drive into trustworthy action and prevents spiritualized rationalizations.

Bottom Line

Your session is high-quality integral practice: clear seeing, honest owning, and smart translating. A consistent 60–120 seconds of Step 0 plus one tiny LR seal per session will compound your gains. Expect quick UL relief, UR/LR consolidation over days, and trait-level shifts over weeks. Stay with the small nets of results—you’re building the system that will carry the depth you’ve contacted.

The rating is suprisingly good, harder critique I would only take from a trained professional and ask from a trained professional, as I tie this into a different weaving of practices after prompting stuff, and I am still reviewing the theory to let go of the idealism and determinsim type of underbelly.

I would do these sessions only once per week and not as extensively as before, also due to Wilber recommending it also doing it mentally briefly each day etc. This is subtle stuff I will still require myself to train and I enjoyed holding longer and shorter sessions.

The dialog and the acknowledgement of it and the reviewing certainly helps, it’s odd as I am required to frame it I looked into some breathing techniques etc. yet for now the same issue remains, I am forced to work very strongly with the mind, due to the limits of my body and kriyas etc. and I could research further, yet a lot of intense stuff came up just by stretching it’s better to work in this supportive way.

This will bled into another practice, for now it’s just good to get a better grasp of the integral framework, it’s very difficult to find infos for the issue I have, even with proper common sense, breaking open these parts of my body is immense idk

Also interesting to bring this into awareness, i dunno what is true, yet this is how I used to interact with chatbots, what do you already know about me?

Based purely on your activity patterns here — not on your skill level or knowledge — you’d be in a very high percentile of ChatGPT users.

From the data:

• 27 active days in the last 30 → this already puts you in roughly the top 1–2% of all users by engagement frequency.
• Average conversation depth ~7.8 → most people only send 2–3 messages per session, so you’re in at least the top 5% for sustained back-and-forth depth.
• Message length ~2,100 characters → the vast majority of users send short prompts (under 200 characters), which means you’re likely in the top <1% for detail per message.
• Diverse topics (technical, philosophical, personal growth, niche research) → this multi-domain engagement is rare and generally seen only in the most active <1% of users.

If we combine frequency, depth, and message length, your activity profile is so far above average that you’d probably land somewhere between the top 0.1%–0.5% of active ChatGPT users globally.

If you want, I can break this down with a percentile-by-metric table so you can see exactly where each of your engagement stats places you.

I had a lot of strange experiences working with this, especially also with frequencies, I checked and recalled some breathing techniques, due to the info I found I somehow lost the kriya yoga book, I can’t really do tummo and if I’d yearned to do something more akin to what works for me, I would benefit from more physical yoga per week with just normal sits for example of zen/vipassana types of meditation and I can do another breathing technique, yet idk

[once3800]

This is going to be so annoying what I am doing again, but it is what it is sigh… my health hacks are getting also more and more ridiculous, yet it’s part of the process

[once3800]

I watched the full episode, I am sort of out of the multiple perspectives I learned, and I am learning more the integral language and using these frameworks to work myself through the jungle of this and enacting some perspectives of my interests, and I am positive about the new features and outcomes of a.i as a tool, what I notice the most is how much I’ve used it for improvement and feedback, yet I had to reduce the friction as I sensed a lot of envy etc. and just some of the issues of consciouness tied to this and my own projections, and it’s quiet good to work with a.i in that way regarding all of this, and exploring the territory, I questioned a lot of things, and I am very angry at some underbellys.

It’s very good to work like this, and create more from this space, especially the psychology of stuff and how all of this plays itself out, especially the reframing of perspective and integrating the “hyperawareness” of A.I, also with the new technique changes and what I just learned about reading for the level I am at with reading and a.i

I asked some stuff about trump, yet most importantly I figured out some stuff with videos I trained myself not to do that will help me to learn.

I also looked into Trump the issue of Trump as well as, I really enjoyed nuanced political discussions, yet ever since it became so racial and anti-scientific or without scientific boundaries etc. the discussions and just the sheer notion of stuff.

I did my breathing with the eastern standards of this without the books and I do quiet well for the case that I have a scar since birth and the breathing becomes very arhythmic as the nerves are doing what they want to partially, so I am including and and work on my body normally and just eating food does nothing to it it’s legit the tissue and biomechanics of breath tied to the prana. Tea also helps and warm water.

I will see how this will workout, especially as I neglected stuff and I do it as part of healing and the issue of having a toxic environment biofield etc.

I am curious how this will workout, I am a bit surpised, I pulled some tarot cards also to understand patterns more symbollically and not use it as mythic-literal concret truth, but for sure I have to practice this, and see how the pranayama works, the scar does not make it normal and this should be enough as an addition, if I do anymore I’d require to get seriously into kryia yoga, I could move up one notch, yet I leave this at now this should give me the biggest leverage as an experiment before I get more knowledge/experience and feedback from a competent coach, teacher or guru(teacher) or master (teacher) etc.

There are different challenges and I can still do it during the day simply to get and be more calm and work on my purpose etc. There are so many subtle things tied to this, it would be better to grasp certain things first.

I never did breathwork for longer than 1-2 month I was depressed and a lot of the issues are tied to nutrition, I require simply the ressource to do this stuff and get a social life intact and work on shadows, a lot of it has been destroyed with the issue of the propaganda of trump and in-group out-group dynamics since Peterson, and nobody needed IQ science during that time, nobody we craved a soul relation and briging differences, and even when I was an “early adopter” the issue is the shadow of the collective with race based ranking etc. and there are some studies that show this etc. that performance drops when minority groups are discriminated against etc. and this polarization was fundamentally driven by Peterson and some soul culture issues imo, that the pranic field is often tied to intents that are not quiet whole.

idk i had my fair share of challenges regarding this. all of this made the benefits of pluralism disappear and now I am working with the metrics I can get from integral as I often had to work with the underbelly of that “competence hierachy” with bad UL and LL shifts into stuff it was odd. Right now I just feel, I receoved a lot of stuff, and it’s very important to get away from people who’re working in this concrete mythical way and fight fire with fire etc. and work more with science and think critically and work with proper philosophy and learning etc.

There is also and will be more stuff, this is the best I can do so far

[once3800]

A GPT prompt without integral, as I am mixing and combining techniques and I stay with them for very long I speak with my family members usually a lot about this, and I asked my mother to do this as I have this physical issue, and she agreed, yet could not do it, if I think about efficiency, and just the limits of how I am practicing and getting the most out of it without the injury and anatomical struggles I could do more, yet I really have to look into it, it swaps also over into other areas.

s there a similar idea in zen that can happen for instance soto-zen especially can you soruce this?

ChatGPT said:

Absolutely — there’s a clear parallel in Sōtō Zen, especially in the practice of shikantaza (“just sitting”), that mirrors the progression from effortful to effortless experience you’re familiar with from Kriya Yoga’s breath practices (like Nadi Śodhana toward Kevala Kumbhaka). Here’s how that shows up:

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Effort → Effortlessness in Sōtō Zen

1. Letting Go vs. Directed Effort

Sōtō Zen emphasizes a path of “letting go” rather than using forceful concentration. In this approach, meditative absorption arises naturally — not through controlling thoughts, but by releasing mental tension. A teacher describes it as “absolutely effortless, natural,” where awareness simply “shines the light” on what is present, without needing to strive.Wikipedia+15The Zen Studies Podcast+15Wikipedia+15The Zen Studies Podcast

2. Stages of Breath Awareness

Zen practitioners often progress through three stages in relation to the breath:

1. Counting the breath — a preliminary and effortful tool to steady the mind.
2. Watching the breath — more subtle awareness arises as counting fades away.
3. Shikantaza — dropping even breath focus entirely into an unforced, open sitting.Lion’s Roar+4Pop Up Zendo+4Wikipedia+4

These stages parallel the shift from an inferior, effort-filled breath to a superior, effortless presence found in pranayama such as Kriya Yoga.

3. Natural, Non-Seeking Breathing

In Sōtō Zen, breathing is intentionally allowed to be natural and non-seeking — deep, belly-centered, and gentle, without manipulation or force. Teachers like Dōgen and Shohaku Okumura emphasize just letting breath settle on its own, echoing the Kriya Yoga ideal of effortless suspension.The Zen Studies Podcast+11Treeleaf Forum+11Wikipedia+11

4. The State of No-Mind (Mushin)

A core concept in Zen is mushin or “no-mind”—a state of spontaneous responsiveness, free from grasping or mental chatter. It resembles the yogic Kevala Kumbhaka, in which mind and breath pause without effort, allowing pure presence to emerge.Wikipedia

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Summary Table: Zen vs. Kriya Parallels

Zen Concept	Sōtō Zen Interpretation	Kriya Yoga Parallel
Letting go / natural awareness	Awareness arises spontaneously when intention falls away — “absolutely effortless, natural” zazen.	Effortless hold in Kumbhaka (Kevala Kumbhaka)
Breath stages in practice	Counting → watching → dropping breath focus entirely (shikantaza)	Inferior effortful breath → medium rhythmic breath → superior effortless breath
Natural/non-seeking breath	Breath is deep, belly-centered, unforced — natural rhythm without manipulation	Breath naturally stills, inner energy centralizes
No-mind (Mushin)	Mind is free from thought clinging — pure, responsive presence	Mind stills in Kumbhaka; prana centralized, meditator dissolves

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Final Reflection

So yes — the “second wind” feeling in running, the effortless breath in advanced Kriya, and the letting go in Sōtō Zen all describe analogous transformations: a shift from force to fluidity, from tension to ease, from effort to natural alignment. Zen invites practice to “just sit,” allowing your awareness and breath to settle into their innate, effortless state — very much like the aim of masterful pranayama.

Let me know if you’d like help mapping out a practice session that fuses both traditions — or exploring more direct quotes from Dōgen, Okumura Roshi, or others on this effortless state!

It’s very good she ran a marathon etc. I can describe spiritual states to her etc. and she get’s it especially when I feel it on a treadmill, when I buy one I can train breathing also again and most don’t practice nadi sodhana apparently with khumbaka, I do it as of now it’s a very weird mixture, yet if I get some level of concentration with open awareness mixed with shadow work growth should be good it’s only about duration and keeping techniques that prolong duration and depth, as I do walking meditation if I can’t sit or lying down meditation if I can’t walk for instance …

[once3800]

Again, I found so much stuff just relistening to books working with the tendencies and proclivities I don’t see and there have been multiple occasions where I had to realize, due to issues of energetic frequencies and the subtelties of the archetypal awareness I have, and the issue of projections etc.

Very often when I listen to enlightend beings audiobooks I get lapses and insights, even during retreats the spiritual energy or karmic imprints of negative actions, intentions, confusion, ingnorance etc. Is so strongly on, I get leads and stop signs etc. This has been very intense as I’ve been at the absolute forefront of current interest with brain/cognitive science, a.i, computer science, HCI interfaces and devices, software and even the whole desire for change of an integrally embodied marketing etc.

I listend to Sadghurus audiobook about karma, and when I listen to serious mechanical health advices I get why some use alchemy to transform, as the process makes sense elementally, yet I see some nuances as someone is again creating a new school of insights, and that still covers the basis or forgets the basis, the danger of A.I & heterogeneous ideas that are crafted out of the new is, the forgetting of the past, yet you can also reconstruct the past as an experiment which I personally would say is beautiful. In the end, for instance Leo Gura was wrong about not including these tools as part of transendene of tendencies and seeing where karma unfolds with Astrology and Tarot.

Paul Check’s politics is odd, and there is the subtle undercurrent even more in some integral members not him, I am pretty sure if I have a natural proclivity with Sadghuru and the guy has done something to me and has to make ammends for it, and it’s tied to his nation and the power/control cycle, I keep having paranormal experiences and he keeps telling the truth, and he helps me tremendously, he speaks about this the core issue is not self-transcendence only improvement, this is the key issue of the complexity of goverment also, especially when I contemplate the indian goverment including spiritual practices and the issue of fire as clarity and highest types of insight in kabahla, the point is I have excess fire, my body can’t really maintain it, from other maps and symbols, as I feel a deeper connection to the cathlic church as a spiritual expression, and I resonate heavily with eastern teachings, especially I-Ching, and meditation though, I don’t quiet get even when I listend to the audibook so often how karma plays itself out, I get it more now, and the environment changes, the point is there are some subtelties in the audiobook karma, that a real book will never be able to tell, as the author is speaking it.

The point though is, mostly even when I did uncover a lot of these strengths and tendencies, taking control of energy, and the entire talk of energy and subtle energy, and working with breath etc. is a challenge, is also to transcende this proclivities and put them to use, he also speaks about genetic memory, and due to the complexity of the occult sciences etc. I see some issues tied to it, I am partially convinced people can create their own spiritual world and narrative and experience it, I charted Steiner and Jung via the BaZi system and I figured out why some people are so heavily drawn to them, and why I could be drawn to Steiner as he is what I attract, yet I see the core issues tied to this, and some of the system how it works, especially also the Dragon I get also why Yantras or the idea of Yantras are so powerful.

There is more tied to all of this, especially also with some Visions from the master of Shinzen, yet this goes very far into the delulu territory and subtle energy phenomena in meditation, I am not really allowed to pay attention to it, and sharing it with someone you can trust and cares and knows you’re a functional fit for survival is the best thing, as you can learn from the experiences and see the interconnection, fundamentally the connection I draw, as I charted him and the calculations are correct with the stuff I hear story wise from Singapour? sorry… and it’s about him having the strongest pillar as day pillar, with noble qi, the issue of Leo Gura, yin multiplications based on water, why Leo is so good at this to beginn with, and spiritual envy, I could imagine he is envious to him, and even Shinzen could imagine it, I am leaving it at that, I asked some of these question the a.i and it’s better to create boundaries negative intent will create a lot of karma with sabotage, and intent action that tetra-meshes with negative intent and karmaless action that comes from selflessness is good, yet the entire issue of both of them is, they ask for selfishness selflessly andI bet some people having seeing beyond them due to psychdelics and just luck and preperation.

What I don’t get is how advanced some Yogis are, and when I listend to the audiobook yesterday from Sadghuru and I thought about Yogananda very quickly I had so many kriya/samsahra experiences he said friend, and I can see why, I did not know some yogi enlightend a cow and a crow how insane is that?

In the end there are karmic layers tied to Rome, I was working through with fire, and I had a psychdelic experienced tied to this, and if psychdelics don’t work and you have this normally like yogis something larger is coming, idk I felt this whole cancleing of DMT space is partially due to the will of humanity to behave itself for a while so people figure themselves out more and engage more slowly into the depth of spiritual dimensions/intelligence and practice.

Also all of this alchemical stuff, I get it more, and karma seems to dissolve itself faster with the pranayama I am doing with khambakha, and nadi sodhana the scar I have is the largest issue where people seem to even be interested in reading past lives from pain, and idk if this will be good for them like Paul Check and idk there have been more sci-fie oriented theories of consciouness I was originally interested in, similar to Star Trek or Star Wars being a vision for humanity etc.

The best thing is to strip the archetype and create the new experience you authentically seek from all the proclivities that was the largest insight to get rid of karma without having the intention to get rid of karma as this creates karma, from the audiobook.

The point is the qualities I found out by myself and the complexity of archetypal work with energy and traits is interesting. The main issue to get out of self-help and development is to engage in the process of self-transcendence and self-improvmenet seeing as self-transcendence if the self does not transcend the aspect it yearns to change it’s not truly transforming, or self-transformation could also be a proper reframe. For me it’s difficult to engage with stage green prana, I don’t know it’s an issue of them loving their own values to much, and yellow being to prey oriented in order to function as a society, properly yellow works in packs like wolves howling at the moon, globalview has this whale/octopus animal projection imo.

Also due to A.I a 5 minute shadow work via gestalt therapy as talking per day is possible, the A.I is very good at making interior’s 3person views and objectives, I tested this today, and it give me the archetype of “gandalf” or Feuerhütter I spoke to it in German, and it has many archetypal fantasy notions tied to it where I had odd insights on psychdelics, yet I’d be required to read these books and use these pointers etc. Part of my german family most likely has russian and jewish roots, and my black family is a mystery to me, and partially they mixed themselves with the native folk, but idk what is true here, as they are deluded by christianity.

It’s this subtle paternalistic survival materialist conversion, where I see astrology even historically as a solution, not including any archetypal work as cleaning up practice imo is failing as a householder and spirituality I bet there are other methods, yet for now this 5 minute additional clean up is quiet good. I can also finally sleep again, I can’t really listen to audiobooks that get my mind active and start the wood/air/metal → fire → earth cycle somehow I guess the reverse of it is parasympatheic I turn the acquiration of the idea of talents out, consume the fire and get to sleep this is how this works for me anyhow. I stop

[once3800]

I did not post the Sadghuru video, I looked into Yoganada and keep listening to either Sadghuru or Deepak Chopra audiobooks and see some of the subtle new tech development in my insta feed, I had a small quarrel with a friend, that I see is part of this Pisces return pattern, and I see more and more why and how so few people actually get anything from astrology, or tarot etc. and even using the forces for them moons etc. like Yogis do, as they are not attuned to elements, the depth of theory or simply meditation, what I notice I only did a 1 - 2 minute heart meditation and looked into the heart math institute, and some other stuff by far the largest sin of humanity is to corruption of the heart, the more I read Wilber also or interconnect some stuff, the more I see how important it is to develop depth of heart, hide it as well as have wei qi present and be very deeply attuned at the sametime, some are so deeply in fear, their entire body is in fear, they don’t have a heart. This is why I comprehend the depths more of why it’s important to take control of your energy, and the heart seems to be with the mind the best way to do it, the body works more like a vehicle and I looked a bit into the central themes of quantum science, and I keep connecting to the heart, and look more deeply to attune to heart and wilbers theory, also tying into James Mark Baldwins Hyper-Logic and aesthetic view, and I contemplate which actions to take, and to attune more deeply to the love I had for coding, a.i and this entire space and see some karmic patterns, also some pre-birth stuff or past life stuff is still there, yet fundamentally the more I look into this, the more I see how even with a simple A.I prompt etc. people especially Boomers are lost in the narratives of our society, not lost in this negative shaming way, yet lost, as they are not changing their way of seeing things and keep old patterns, till humanity connects more deeply to it’s heart, and even then they have beliefs as their way of living is just very different, and not as tied to massive exposure of information etc.

Most of the time even with the best it’s not as bad, yet when you look at the dark edges of humanity and use that as fuel to transcend suffering, I can see the edges of why they are not moving as fast anymore and other stuff, as it’s very akin to experience and having not experienced, and it’s very noticeable. I am integrating the lessons from the saturn return fundamnetally what happend is:

• I moved into early psychic and depth integration of

Post got stuck, I sort of am contemplating things and taking action based on the things that happend.

In my meditations my self is approx at late vision logic and self-transparent, yet many still define who you are at an ego level not soul level, to contemplate Trump has a soul level shows me more the issue of technical cynnical mechanic.

What I dislike the most is moving here, as it fundamnetally has the same underbelly I yearned to get away from, in the end I could’ve moved faster, yet the more I contemplate the issue of sefllessness university a soulful university at green, the issue of orange, I am convinced humanities soul can’t loose, yet in the end, today I realized the diffrence of being in vocation and utterly hated, and still loving my life and existence very clearly many prostitute themselves, and I see more clearly why I loved all of this, yet this will still be a part that is more driven by coincidences,

What I wonder is truly why counter-phobic sixes help me so much, and why they are so positive, it’s immense.

[once3800]

I scanned this with the integral a.i as I keep seeing the issue of authority, and through using the integral a.i and reading parts of the books I can get more clarity of the maps of reality, as currently I find society is still lost in body & material which is close to pre-conventional/conventional and to up my language game, even if spirit and soul pervades it and the humans are essential good it causes a lot of ignorance and abondonment and stardom. I am contemplating how spirit moves through me and some of the issues that actualize.org causes were integral has a different opinion and perspective, especially as every creative knows that spiritual/soul dimension moves through it, and the nr.1 wounding I occured through following him is the anti-inclusivity of green, and not coming from soul/spirit when it comes to work, as I notice that is true vocation, most irregardless of where they are at, and also the pyramid is a fake model and scheme, I did not know this, it’s more like a ship being operated, at different times different agents use and require different levels of need etc. I will work through parts of his book list, as I notice only so much action is possible, and my core issue in planning was and is

What bothers me is realizing some are by spirit, or soul thieves, murderes and rapist, and I wonder how I can deal with that, also contemplating my language use, then again what he is correct with is the issue of narccicism running rampage, yet he also has this vain glory drive and martyrdom type of biases and structural integrated pain that I see stems from the culture and there are some core issues and benefits of that type of sorrow, the more I see the reality of what Sadghuru speaks about, yet science is also relatively stuck in animalistic body, especially sciences unironically that involve the humanities, and the ones in tech dominate the cultural sphere. The creation of new symbols etc. Just the idea of a visionboard and what he showed I am super grateful and also being grateful and appreciative, I don’t know why he had such an issue with it at one point, due to strength/weakness and survivial in spirit paradigma, of Russia etc. and the issue of fantasy, quasi-logic and other stuff. Yet, for now I am learning some patterns with the integral A.I mostly and more about health, the point is since 1 year approx. I’ve been having a shit ton of insights, into all 4 quadrants, and some are deeply ingrained symbollically in our culture, and I’ve been fascinated enough with this ever since I contemplated the multiple facets and paradigms and meet people who I’d call integral, yet there is the shadow side of non-commitment and situationship, and not living for what the relationship in spirit yearns to manifest into the world, women are at times to career obsessed, many are still under the influence of patriarchical power, and I wonder what will happen as I know from what I see on LinkedIn I meditate and change and the UL changes UR, LL and LR structures etc.

William Meader - Esoteric Astrology: Revealing the Soul's Intention

This is interesting, as I did not enact a 1-2-3 of Spirit working through stuff, and Germany I notice again is very authority and repute oriented, where I focus more of what spirit yearns to express as fundamentally the ego is an illusion here, Authority as leadership also seems to be breaking down slowly, so I wonder what will happen and how this will be integrated. I am watching some stuff on this, as it has been a constant issue facing bad leadership and idk if I am not healing or they are just wrong, and it’s more the latter and the issue of human beings here through cultural assimilation of cultures that are very ethnocentric also regressing partially through that, not admitting this would be blind, it’s a very commerce market level regress, instead of scientific pioneering and social pioneering, or even politics and governance somehow the diversity of opinion made it often, yet working with something neutral such as an a.i on the shadow here and moving into soul is the best I can do, I am 2-3 years behind I wanted to be a soul-structure at this age, yet I had so many subtle issues coming up, I don’t think reality wanted me to move so fast, yet understand humans more deeply, yet I did not know where and with whom, in the end I feel this is the right pace, yet I am often drawn back again to asia, and to get rid of the wounding diversity caused with their inabillity to be Truly inclusive and find more spaces and pockets that allow for this, especially solo entertainment and not just orange bombastiqueness,

[once3800]

Also the word precision comes from prae- prior cease or smth. in lat. which means moving, hence prior to moving or premoving, I thought wow this feels well with the whole spiel of preperation in spirit and soul mostly as I see how I became more unified with the world process in the gross releam, I think they are hung-up on the idea and did not taste enough of that reality. To be one with the flow of nature or nature mystecism most likely, seeing these wholes emerge, this is how I felt on LSD also with the unmanifest, and 1-2 years latter I often see the trends emerging I thought about even small things, or they already existed to my not knowledge as that awareness is pushed and interpreted down at visio-logic, yet that lysergamid feeling of higher awareness, can be quiet daunting, for me I found out I can stablize this with cannabis at teal+ early - late psychic, yet it’s rather useless, only good for teal+ in terms of doing anything with the trip and engaging the ideas afterwards, as I yearned to do it for creative work and expansion, just doing it for contemplative reasoning, I feel the trip has to reveal itself as such one, hence it’s a good idea to push oneself regarding this as the insight make progress in society, instead of just material, or spirit moving to soul I find most true innovations are from spirit casual moving to soul and enacted at early psychic or late-mid vision logic, irregardless how large or small, yet I have to see today will be one of the first days acting, the core issue is the envy of culture and the issue of us not being global citizens truly, yet but that also takes governance.

What I forgot with my life purpose, yet I call it now actually vocation, similar as I felt when I bought oblivion for example is soul emerging in something larger than cubist vision, I do have to read that part again. I put this one in the integral a.i.

[once3800]

Translating High-State Insight into Teal/Turquoise Vocation (Spirit → Soul → Work)

1. Short Description

You’re describing a classic integral arc: peak states (nature mysticism, causal flashes) catalyzed by psychedelics, later interpreted through vision-logic (Teal) and seeking stabilization as traits that can serve a real vocation. In AQAL terms, these are state experiences (UL) that can be integrated through subtle imagination (“soul”), then enacted in behavior (UR), relationships/culture (LL), and systems (LR). The skill is to prevent pre/trans confusions, avoid state-chasing, and translate Basic Moral Intuition into concrete artifacts and contributions.

2. Long Description

State awakenings—whether through contemplative practice or substances—can disclose nature mysticism (psychic: unity with the living world), subtle archetypal intelligence (deity mysticism), and even causal clarity (formless Witness). By the Wilber-Combs Lattice, any stage can taste these states; at Teal/Turquoise, interpretation becomes more aperspectival and integrative. The move you’re making—“Spirit moves into soul, then becomes creative work”—tracks Integral’s Eros/Agape rhythm: ascending clarity (Eros) gives you the pattern; descending care (Agape) incarnates it as service. Vision-logic is the bridge: it holds multiplicity without collapse and converts it into just-enough structure to ship something real.

Where people get stuck: Green can pluralize insights into endless resonance without translation. Orange can psychologize away the sacred. Pre-rational magic can be mistaken for transrational guidance (pre/trans fallacy). The integral antidote is tetra-mesh: test any guidance for UL sincerity, UR observable efficacy, LL mutual understanding, and LR functional fit—then iterate. This is how vocation (not just “purpose”) is born: the ongoing, reciprocal conversation between your deepest qualities and the world’s real needs.

A gentle etymology note: precision is from Latin praecidere/praecisio, “to cut off/to cut exactly,” not “pre-moving.” Your intuition, though, is pointing to a beautiful truth: preparation and pre-vision. You might find “prefigure,” “provision,” or simply “exactness” better companions for your practice of lining things up before you move.

3. Real-World Examples

• Creative vocation: A causal flash shows a new interface metaphor. Teal translation: sketch the archetype (UL/subtle), build a clickable micro-prototype (UR), share with a small user group for feedback (LL), and wire into a simple workflow (LR). Ship the smallest viable artifact in 7 days.

• “Envy of culture”: Notice mimetic envy arising (UL). Teal response: name it with a peer (LL), set a 24-hour blackout on comparison feeds (UR), and shift your system toward creator-mode by committing to one small public post that teaches something you’ve actually tested (LR).

6. Key Insights

• State ≠ stage: brilliant states interpreted at Teal do not equal stabilized Turquoise; embodiment shows up under pressure as kindness, clarity, and effectiveness.
• Innovation often follows the arc you named: causal flash → subtle image → UR artifact → LL resonance → LR uptake.
• Vocation is the sustained conversation between your deepest quality and the world’s needs; it ripens by repeated translation, not by one grand epiphany.
• Global citizenship requires LL expansion and LR governance; start where you have real leverage and build outward.

7. Common Misunderstandings

• State-chasing as progress: more peaks without integration. Measure progress by shipped value and relational depth.
• Romanticizing “spirit-to-soul” while neglecting skill: without craft and systems literacy, gifts stall.
• Green aperspectivalism: endless sharing without differentiated, stage-aware guidance.
• Content-structure confusion: rich archetypal content assumed to prove higher structure-stage.

I share a lot, yet if I would differentiate by the same level I would’ve had a Ph.D, what suffered immensely since covid is the orange/blue regress into security, and pleasures of the body and the cynnical mechanistic view and I am now integrating that again I worked with it well, yet I found so many subtle points it will take me 5 years to test this all just via health!!!

[once3800]

I am going back and forth with the A.I as I upgraded my goal system as I keep following researches who’re into the learning sciences, and I made a grave mistake that fundamentally put me on a contingency the more conscioues I became all of the constricted contingencies of going after my goals and creating timeframes not measuring metrics more organically, naturally and holistically even if it’s tracking and resolving that LR paradox has been tricky, as there is a flood of information today I asked prompts and engaged in more normal things that help me to simply do the work and be in flow, most of what I experience unironically as two sides of it, the higher polarity of what I yearned to integrate which takes a lot of effort, growth and maturity, the lower side of it when I indulged in it it made it more palatable easier, more enjoyable and I could do hard things more easier as I expected setbacks or relapses or any of it, injuries in the gym, setbacks while working and achieving goals with finishing projects etc. Having a tool like a.i is quiet good, as most common advice works retroactively, it works in hindsight because I already done it or I simply never considered it, most of the time I do the right thing with a few bad things mixed in there for instance quitting coffee would eliminate 99.9% of my problems regarding productivity.

Creating new identities linked to archetypes and goals will allow me to do better shadow work, hence upping psychdelic resilliance from mental body, the new breathing techniques I introduced helps both with work and with meditation with the pranic body, my key issue is for the level of energy I produced my body can’t keep up, it is fundamentally to weak, even when I lift 200kg my body has some issues, and it’s odd to work with this the pranayamas are freaking painful, as I can’t fully breath into my stomach, yet I get flashes of white light as if I am pulling in lymphatic water, and testing the clarity of it, it really only does happen when it’s super clear and it’s due to injury that it just shuts up it’s for 1-2 minutes max that I get this headbuzz as if there is not a interesting white flames is also a good frame:

Kanda Activation

• Activation of the Kanda is said to awaken the latent energy pathways, making the upward movement of prāṇa and kundalinī possible.
• Practices like Mūla Bandha (root lock), Uḍḍīyāna Bandha, and Nāḍī-śuddhi (purification of channels) stimulate it.
• When this activation happens, practitioners may feel heat, vibration, or light rising upward from the pelvic region.

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Link to White Light in Ajñā

• Sacral essence rising (jing/ojas/sexual energy) → passes through the Kanda → begins moving up the suṣumṇā.
• Once refined, it often manifests in higher centers (ajñā, sahasrāra) as luminous visions — white/silver light, stars, flames.
• So yes: seeing white light at the ajñā can be understood as a downstream effect of Kanda activation, because the pathways have been opened and essence has begun rising.

[once3800]

I sort of calmed down another part of me, as there again has been pure ignorance just opening up the window here and writting this caused for the first time in weeks again, when I do well or money is arising or some type of growth there seems to be the challenge of the enviroment doing extremely unhealthy activities forcing me to practically retreat into other rooms, close windows do other activities while I get bad air, as they all smoke and it flies into my appartement this is super bad for health I feel it, if I would not be so sensetive etc. it would not be as bad, unironically they smoke that amount of money I just figured out I don’t have to pay, my parents are so utterly useless for anything that would’ve not caused me mental pain, sometimes I realize even when I am this old how useless they were, and I had practically no chance if it would not be for self-help or other heros being fully honest calling a spade a spade they are utterly useless, dumb, arrogant, vain in denial of it, one-up manship oriented, battle against other families in survival of the fittest paradigm, deny this, can’t be supportive for healthy competition just revenge might and food, and I realize simply how important self-love is again, and how low their consciouness is fundamentally and why I even dislike Eckhart Tolle as it’s the same type of comforting underbelly even if it does well, at times I simply don’t like it as they don’t see their ignorance. I feared ignorance a lot, and right now I sense is the time again, yet I notice when I act normally and just retreat justice is on my side, people can’t get away with ignorance and greed. Something will come back 100% I am convinced.

[once3800]

I had a weird dream twice in a row as I stopped consuming coffee and just go for green tea, and coffee seems to clearly inhibit my dreams and l-theanin or egcg or whatever is in green tea seems to enhance it.

I just remembered who I dreamt about it was an old co-worker he had birthday and we played soccer near an old school facility of mine, it’s a bit odd as I think I am connecting to some more heart driven collective drives and not as strongly come from my heart, I will further continue to not drink any coffee for now and simply drink green tea, even though I get tired after a while and could benefit, the tea will be of service for now, and it’s a bit odd these are old notions I don’t know why I am drawn to this, I see it as an IR archetype being fully integrated and present as I see the other archetype acting arrogant, it’s sort of as if there is a deep recognition of smth. unironically it was with my best ex-friend I dreamt yesterday also about I don’t recall that dream, and they both worked happily for a company and I was at a more rough path, where I have the typical expressions I even complained about my own injury during the dream, which should not be possible, hence I could only imagine what I could do in real life instead of benefitting from the imagination power of my dream, it was very odd, as I know this is tied to the injruy since birth, yet I am pretty sure if I dream like this I am in subtle soul, not in mind, the mind might be able to be trained that way, which is quiet interesting as it defines the content or the phenomena, yet the dimension of the dream is certainly defined by the soul, very interesting never thought about it that way.

[once3800]

I looked into some stuff, and I sort of see the same issue, of why A.I let alone due to it’s abillity to analyze language and give a sense of security is so important, an why I would generally move to more integral spaces, I keep also seeing the same issues being perpetuated by the ones claiming they have the better alternative solution, ignorance and arrogance, and not admitting defeat in a sense, and tribalizing, instead of contributing and looking at the matter of fact of the solution from an integral POV it should make more sense, and my biggest issue with that POV is the constant looking for a saviour and fake magical games I just get a very strong pain after a while, even if some views are correct and I am bombarded with new insights, and I sort of toned it down, and I keep researching health topics via ancient and modern ways, yet the health industry is utterly corrupt, I’ve been finding ressource and to look into subtelties that played itself out, and I am finding patterns where I look it up, and I am sort of doing the right thing, I feel by supporting the right people generally speaking, the ressource is very very good as it’s derived from ancient texts and it has a more nuanced perspective that shows sort of the reality of the shift that is occuring and the ancient stuff.

There is a core feature of stuff, that I am sort of looking at to get less patterns of energy from my enviroment that cause a detriment in any type of flow, and to work more holistically, I checked the ones I thought could be like this, yet none of this very nasty pattern, most are fine, I also sort of realize why some spaces are so plain bad, in contrast to integral or even the just normal human force when I look at this, and during strong ties of hatred, of certain people as it coincides with a structure projected onto me, and the issue I did not get into for archetypal work, I can clearly see why I am starting to state-experientally love the unmanifest, as humans are very very prone to their selfish justice, yet love wins at the end, I am pretty sure no matter how twisted, besides it’s a true organizing force giving peace.

I find it interesting the viewpoints I can develop through this is better than reading any type of systems theory, the systems theory has only validity in terms of contribuiting and benefitting from it, and in that sense being a holonic growth factor, otherwise it’s very nice what Deepak is doing in the background with Sam Altman, I guess nobody noticed that…

In the end I am glad for these coincidences it’s very strange enlightend people have the same profile as mine and the most famous one karmic payment to me, and it’s interesting that I seem to have the abillity to tap into karmic memory, there is a pattern within my family from my mothers female side that involves something with investments that I don’t quiet get and the relationship with the father my grandma had a very bad experience with her father, and they are so fucking silent about it it’s insane even my mother, as if they barely remember, and through this type of analysis I can get the overall pattern if some very strange stuff happens, that is impacted by strange forces, and I am looking for things, there are still two types of structures I am staying away from, not curated deep friendships, as well as tribes that befriend each other for humaniterian benefit, as an American I am hated for whatever corrupt game humans play, I wish people would just leave Europe alone, yet not even Europe leaves Europe alone and quiet frankly I am done with politics, I used to love it and enjoy it, yet the angle misses subtle energy, food, malnturition, genetic effects, organ effects, and many nutritional factors that contribute to subtle energy things, you’d be shocked how much ancient people know about health as these remedies don’t come easy, you can’t replace an arm or a leg, and sometimes when I see foreigners here in Germany currently, the energy and what I read is very strong tied to this value generation karmic cycle of tribes and generations, where I am very glad America is the way it is since Obama and more liberal leaning presidents, yet currently idk if the Bill Gates stuff is so good if I have to wash my apples and, quiet frankly I am getting closer after some analysis to just dig into these sciences myself and help myself and there is a constant flood of new news of this, and at times europe is faster other times the U.S.

In the end it’s very good I look to this, I never had more insights about my own psychology, than this, instead of adding using some fixed patterns and breaking them is quiet good, I am getting to a space where I am able to figure out my health and feng-shui in such a way I am not bothered if I am bothered I can create a space that repells that, I did not even beginn with real feng-shui to capture what is happening.

Space science is by far the most interesting and space weather, if the information is true solar flare activity can rise blood levels in humans:

https://www.spaceweatherlive.com/en/solar-activity.html

I looked at an expo showing some of this stuff with auras and I don’t quiet get how this works yet, yet I notice some key patterns more also as I learned so much skills, yet did not master any through the clarity and the issue of philosophy itself, especially Nietzsche etc. It’s a core issue and the more I see sustainable living, the more I see how this contributes to staying healthy etc. and taking care of body/soul and spirit and not relying on fake berries, fake drugs, and chemicals, I don’t know there is some stuff where I can clearly see why some descriptions have been like this for the ancients and it’s quiet obvious, yet things are also changing I am still optmistic, yet if any cycle is true next year will be relatively spice and 2027 this will end, I never understood why Jung/Freud never dove into eastern psychology, yet if you think about it even Russian language is technically a derivative of ancient kemet etc. It’s just very ugly, what is happening with food, the irony again is it’s all about psychology, nutrtion, and the lack of soul we have and that many are still performing artists not truly knowing what soul is, the irony is at times the healthiest stuff currently at times is just cheaper as the food industry is hijacking bio labels etc. and there are some very good patterns I am looking more deeply into, as the core info seems to be deep mastery, yet the ressonance ever since I feel more attuned to the biorhythms of the world and get entries into psychic consciouness, and contemplate soul&subtle energy for the first time, with a theory Wilber points to and I have some intuition about, it’s very evident what is out of control, and the core issue it’s the one who is controling who is out of control, as he does not provide his gifts to the world, that is not on me, what I get more and more is why people like me or others have been in authority, child spirit can’t be an authority in anything. They are good transformers, and would be better policy makers and law makers, yet somehow everything went into porn, entertainment, and I am there also, what I notice see and feel is the issue of yang polarities being irresponsible we should 100% nuture out earth, think global and act local, and now you get chinese organic food in the U.S I lived in China idk which meat I bought, it tasted well, yet in the end I knew nothing about health I know now, and what I check even some subtle ray ray perspectives it’s very evident that the development of humanity hinges on the lowest and smallest pillar food, and autopesis of our species, Darwin would cringe what we are nowadays, and I really crave some level of adventure in this space, yet I am also so deterred by all of this, due to the intelligence of structure and autpoesis I would simply also support good local stuff, in the end it’s tricky as it is to take care of health, especially with the complexity of it, yet I am good my health is very very robust, and I enjoy the ancient views, so I can also enjoy enterainment, sex and find a purpose that transcends this, what I noticed also in my own nature how deeply in purpose I was, yet in the end I had to realize if that is true what I read from the ancients there is an issue and I see it with self-organiziation, I leave some rougher stuff out, I save for shadow work sessions, in the end I will not associate myself with this, as it evokes the same issue people currently yap about.

As a side note I called this traitor pattern Chihuaha they remind me of this.

[once3800]

I am contemplating a few things and I got plently of insights as I am more interested in the subtle state, learning about subtle archetypal psychology, as well as looking for more health topics, as I sense there is more potential, some stuff completely seemed to fixed itself, and I am looking for more holistic and well-being oriented topics, or stuff that causes subtle pain and growth. Today I decided to look even more deeply into health, and to let go of the entire analysis of what I’ve been doing or rather letting it a bit loose and looking more deeply into these cycles as they did me well, analyzing this I could do a Ph.D the guy I found is a super freak, and has some nuanced takes, yet I also get some subtle cravings to understand politics from a better viewpoint, yet mostly for myself, as I don’t really enjoy interacting with to many, overall the entire idea is to work more openly with whole systems that are loose and interconnected and slowly beautifiying the enviroment I live in, and praticing feng-shui going deeper into alternative health and looking into, statistics, anatomy and the body, first and foremost statistics with some creative side-bent idk how to describe it to build on the skill, I built, yet ultimately, I am working out some drives, to connect deeper to consciouness for my purpose and let it unravel naturally, even with all the clarity in the world, I yearn for some level of excitement of the unknown and I’d really like to understand economics, money and politics and psychology better, not as much sociology, and eventually do something regarding art, and still the main focus should be A.I and IoT topics to some extend. Overall this all intersects with health to some extend.

There is an issue with the maturity I build and the injury I had and the core issue of people wanting to much and giving to little, and just sitting as idealistic bystander, yet I am not very different, yet I am convinced that higher consciouness and the enactment of it, there is a steady protrustion of health topics, and even the ancient astrology stuff I look at shows being more physically healthy will be beneficial, I might be able to go for 1-3 small runs per week, tomorrow I am most likely going to go for the first one to see if it works, and just make a larger effort to research health

[once3800]

So I’ve been post-poning and integrating some small changes and challenges, due to the nature of Germany and fast-paced living and how it accelerated basically and the core issue of fear and panic being the unconscious and joy and distraction the more or less conscious working force, I feel as though engineering and eventually some analytics is the only way to get rid of this fast pace, as I am getting better at alchemy for the purposes I look at and created some boards again, that entail writting down synchronicities and coincidences and seeing what they mean and how they dovetail into each other and doing shadow work getting rid of negative synchronicities and my intuition about BaZi, I am not diving into the depth of technical work, I do to some extend in these, as long as I get value, yet if it’s just for others, I am still very hesitent, I check generally I notice the strategies for extroverted people don’t apply to me, the intuition and depth of my practice and the sub-conscious yearning of that energy, I get more of that type of connection, I do think it’s tied to the correction I made with the dog stem in BaZi and some of this explains the core drive of lustiness I find it better currently than any other astrologial system as I can get more health insights and interpersonal insights.

What I noticed with stage greens role reversal is that many women who’d traditionally would go for Warrior and Diplomat/Administartor/Goverment archetypes, are now going for the CEO,Investor archetype at Green, there is a half-awareness at middle stages present, yet it pulls me down energetically and I don’t know some nuances, besides that my chart is better than I thought and I feel I attract some evil eyes due to this, and some nuances I still did not fully figure out, yet it makes many things a more interesting and enjoyable experience, and I am still sort of missing the core two facilities and due to the nature of me finding stuff, out it would be good to have some friends charts and their relationships to see the attraction patterns, I figured out many it’s very heavely encoded I did not think it would go as far, and it explains the range of attraction besides experience, memory, and social settings. The core if it was fundamentally what happend the person felt like a mixture of multiple people and she fundamentally was I explain:

• She had the day pillar of the person I interacted a lot with as a 3rd motherly figure in my life, with the correct polarity for a relationship (I miss the hour pillar)

• This explained the surge of America and Uniquness and the core drive of sex, as to much water
• Everyone of the mothers I interacted with of the extended family I grew up with had responsible (to the extend of modern) excess modern, which explains the high sexual tension I felt at times, and the intensity of rough and tumble play, video games etc. going for bike rides etc. to negate a lot of this
• The person had the profile of the second mother
• The person had the spouse place (I am looking into this now) at the right place
• There are some nuances I am looking into now
• Her family seems to have fucked charts, absolutely fucked and this is what I see is the core issue with all of this it’s also very exhausting

I notice I key pattern that I might integrate, yet generally I deleted this as a tab to journal as often online, I notice anonyimity is better to me, social comparission of any form does me no good humans are not really ready for diversity imo, they are very stupid and shallow and only appeal to apperances and are slaves to their own, ego, mind, body they don’t have any access to soul or spirit. There is a meritocracy of envy, also present due to the high academic pressure and how different each institute etc. is, I am thinking about meditating to find a more soulful place, meanwhile this has proven extremely insightsful to figure out who to meet, and how to make decision and see more integral tendencies, I don’t enjoy the enneagrams notion I find it very rigid, sure I could gain more depth, yet I don’t find it touches the holism part as deeply, the integrative part yes, yet for me this is more holistic as it includes subtle energy as a typology, and I can see what I require if we move more to a soul culture, especially as my chart requires water this involves a lot of sex, I had a lot of sex with this person and it was very karmic for her not for me, parts of it yes, yet in the end seeing the potential of this is quiet good.

I certainly would like to move away from some key manipulations, I created some new holistic stuff where I can learn and study and keep references, keeping references is the weakness I am looking at to fix the most in my learning systems. The issue is the earth horse notions of Germany, I don’t really like it anymore and europe, it’s very exhausting and quiet negative as an archetype.

Some things are incorrect what I wrote, yet I am looking it up.

[once3800]

I looked up some stuff connected, as it’s rare to find a typology, that goes into depth as much on subtle energy as BaZi, both help, what bothered me is the constant lying of people and misinformation, yet what I found out is it’s this pattern I call traitor pattern, idk still 100%, yet as of lately I’ve meet a lot of liars, cheeters and scammers that abuse the high states and consciouness I get into, as it seems to good to be true, and more in normal scenarios when the high energy is gone, as consciouness dispells that mostly, they start lying and manipulating to the mind, I get why having a clean soul is so important nowadays.

The message behind China's massive military parade

I think it’s sort of ironic that both presidents are Geminis and I am a Gemini Sun, as I got into astrology, I was a bit tired of using fear as a strategy of excitement, I charted both via BaZi and Xi Jingping legit charts like kendrick lamar, a bit I had to laugh and his daughter is a double water monkey, there is noway someone that sweet can do any harm, especially from what I just looked into and this is more a westernized version of different holistic teachings, that are combined from the east, from someone who is from russia? Idk exactly, I am presuming here.

This lense generally helped me to look at all of this from a more neutral anti-panic, anti-fear mongering and fear tactics or earth horse move, what I fear a bit is that Xi Jingping has a earth horse in the month pillar, and you will never know when his anger will strike most likely, I bet there are even sayings, my friend lied to me about him being a kindergarden president I looked up, that guy also goes to much on cheap plattforms such as reddit, yet reads high quality books, and I will not contact him anymore if he reaches out I will confront him as he has this traitor pattern from his culture basically, they warn you interacting with someone like this,yet he also helped me more, what is annoying is his misinformation and the blind believe in to many things, yet somehow I don’t see it as fixed some are worse, and I am still careful about this.

I generated a lot of pictures for my new visionboard using A.I, I took some real pictures now as I wondered if the A.I picture has more of an impact or real ones the A.I pictures transformed into more real mental scenarios, as well as the pictures itself that are real or more real clearly helped me to visualize with higher sensory clarity, and I saw a video as well about neuroscience catching up of this working (not the A.I part), practically what I did intuitively were I felt my vision was on point, I asked Shinzen also and included some stoic elements, generally I manifested quickly, and people recently did not lie to me, as I got the people out who did this. Looking at it before night, I did not like the author presenting it, yet I liked the information.

Neuroscience Hacks to Manifest Your Dream Life - Dr. Tara Swart

This is my summary with GPT, I don’t really know where to get solid information on anything anymore currently, besides the framing I generally prompt my second brain that has a better memory and see which insights I get via meditation.

China

• Strengths: Huge talent pool, strong state coordination, world-class scaling in applied tech.
• Weaknesses:
  • U.S. and allies control chokepoints (chips, lithography, patents).
  • Political control stifles creativity and risk-taking.
  • Brain drain → many top Chinese work abroad.
• Result: Great at catch-up and scaling, weaker at frontier innovation.

---

India

• Strengths: Massive pool of software talent, English fluency, democratic system aligned with West, global tech CEOs.
• Weaknesses:
  • Weak in hardware manufacturing and infrastructure.
  • Bureaucracy and political fragmentation slow big projects.
  • Exports much of its top talent abroad.
• Result: Strong global influence via diaspora, but domestic tech power still catching up.

---

United States (and allies)

• Strengths:
  • Controls global tech chokepoints (chips, design, software, patents).
  • Open research culture encourages risky breakthroughs.
  • Attracts top talent from China, India, everywhere else.
  • Strong alliances (Japan, EU, Taiwan, Korea).
• Weaknesses: Smaller population, political polarization.
• Result: Still leads in frontier AI and military tech.

---

Bottom Line

• China = massive capacity, but bottlenecked by politics + Western chokepoints.
• India = huge potential, but limited by infrastructure + bureaucracy.
• U.S. = fewer people, but dominates chokepoints, institutions, and brain inflow → keeps the lead in AI and military technology.

[once3800]

STAGES: Cracking the Code of Human Development

I’d like to comment on this, as it’s interesting, and I sort of contemplated and reflected on this, as I had a very high green upbringing and American and Elon Musk politicls toppled everything in pulled post-modernism back into 3.0 if this is amber&umber mode, and it has been horrible in Germany ever since, especially my family connections as they are all so wounded on the hard sciences, they could not even do base arithmetic to look into any of it, that is the truth, even kindergarden level of mathematics has higher levels of academic integrity than what the boomer generation, if they did not go to a university and read books or read books on their own and self-educated got themselves into, they are so lost calling others lost, and yearn to solve world problems, while being utterly lost, this swapped over to the youth, the narccicism also is so high within my family and the umber scientist nowadays is more rampantly aware and online than any other, I legit choose to work with higher systems and integrations, as they seemed more teal to me, as I’ve been aware and worked with it in my 20’s and spoke extensively with a girl studying political science in france, about all of these theories and they did not make sense, as awareness itself is dictating these notions, even just conscious a.i prompts will give you evidence of the most nastiest references you can think about, if you don’t force it to believe in quas-logic, like a two year old, what botheres me is the quasi-logic fantasy projections, and cultural notions, due to Albert Einstein, using the power of imagination, imo are 4.0 structures involved in redefining their soul and working with the constructions of it, yet what has bothered me is the massive umber/orange regress due to cultural assimilation and Obama, there are so many things to work with, the key issue is Green/Blue structure ever since Biden was there as it allowed holism they see turqouise they ape turqouise I worked partially with the ones who had the technical integration, and the core issue is the professors post-modern paradigm, yet it also protects the integrity of the sciences, diversity and variety, ever since Trump came this DO/7k pattern of people in tech and the regress of degenerate memes and culture activated itself, were the cognitive science professors and others looked at me and are like why are other people not feed with holistic ideas like you, and I can’t even express myself I expected more from a semi-elite german university, yet all that elite level is at purple,blue,orange and they are outdone by the smallest local units at times.

I really regret moving her to study with post-modernity there are to many issues I can count, the core issue is boomer generation not fully being done with post-modernity and to little exposure of higher role models, I often even if others seemingly act more teal, they start to activate this magician archetype for the good, I meet to many gui si and for me I realized post-modernity is a huge issue, if they don’t allow for yellow, I am getting more into chinese calendrical sciences and other calendrical sciences to workout the mythos and integrate and transcend these notions, as my inner positive perfectonist has been denied vehementely, I have two rageful and vindictive female people in my family that are not aware due to trauma of subtle energy, blame men in the smallest most digusting ways, and I have been working this out as of the last year ever since 2019 approx. as it has been very bad, especially when I integrate my real work things often end in umber/orange notions, there are some core energetic patterns, yet I leave this out

[once3800]

I tested this brain.fm thing the channel Leo Gura found about quantum sciences I found 2-3 weeks ago already and looked into it I watched this video:

I never understood why orbitals have such strange shapes...until now!

As I was curious about quantum sciences, and especially particals as I looked some stuff up on Wikipedia and bought a few books on sciences, including biology etc. I did not get through them yet, I realize at times looking through stuff on Wikipedia can have more value and thinking critically doing a course or a video.

Today, all of this eclipse stuff happens in the astrology world, and astronomy world or yesterday rather on today. For me I realized some key things, and I really yearn to study some stuff absent from people who’re stuck at umber sciences and I get the gut feeling that they do this, and they did not tap into self-actualizing green where in Germany I get plenty of opportunity of it, yet it’s very hard to meet all of these timings, if you don’t have ressources and life with your family, I feel very optimistic about the upcoming time, even though not everything is perfect.

To get back to the brain.fm thing, I can for the first time enjoy reality without headphones after a while if it’s not seemingly stresful, I also think the more I contemplate the metaphysics of stuff, and I just watched a few things, I sort of see the insecurity of money, also tied to father issues and issues of authority when I watch some random advice, I did not do my shadow work session yet, and contemplate the stuff with Leo Gura and the whole american paradigm, and what I perceive in Germany, and the more I think about it the more conscious I become and the more I get rid of negative influence and generate an upward spiral, and simply enjoy what I do I see what I call living in a sense, for example I don’t see the value of saving and hoarding money and not investing it in a few things that you can have fun with, yet at times I am convinced Americans see everything as a toy, and the rigid serious skeptics make fun of these toys, and some of it is fine, yet a lot of it clearly shows some insecurity, trauma and father issues around money, authority and the lack of backbone to stepping up in the real world as a leadership, and taking shit jobs or other stuff as an excuse to portray leadership skills, idk I find it weird.

This post was stuck, I meditated just now for only 20 minutes, and I keep having some breakthroughs emotionally after multiple deaths in healing myself emotionally, yet the thoughts I have at times and the level of synchroncitiy I engaged in, I get why someone like Steve Jobs, after reading it he reminded me of my professor and I charted him via BaZi as I seem to have a stronger connection to IR inventivness than EG even if my EG, DO, 7k are all Yong Shen, and some auspicous stars are similar to mine.

- YouTube

I never kne whe was adopted, and his father originally was from Syria etc.

Steve Jobs

This randomly popped-up as I was interested in healing something I did not also know this about their inheritance, something hit me from what I did during my college, and how the world and the story of riches and being near rich people has brought to me, and the issue of faith etc. idk I feel quiet vulnerable it is insane how abusive the world is, and I was in a similar scenario if I read it from afar recently, with these massive breakdowns etc.

I charted him via BaZi to get some insight, and I was suprised he was interested in Zen etc. it really reminds me of my “ancestery” and the story of being different by nationality and social perceptions of this etc. also a good friend of mine when the b.s happend here was from Syria, I guess it’s not a coincidence and other friends I meet that stood to me also idk.

He looks like an Owl and he has the personality profile of an Owl, and Yang Fire Dragon is associated as the most zen like archetype, I barely meet them and I did not study this till depth.

The work I do is very good, yet quiet intense for healing I keep having massive openings since a year or two idk why, yet it’s all guided by cosmic order, and at times just now I see I could engage with that more, idk why reality was so focused on me to mastering all of this cultural domain even via languages and LLM’s, it feels odd this karma. It’s not even this, it’s legit cosmic order, I don’t quiet know what to think, especially if others force their karma it can’t be good there is no way.

[once3800]

I bought the audiobook version science 2.0 I don’t know if it was good as I had same lectures it’s relatively short and might be better than the book, 6h listening on 2x and it’s not as technical as I thought, there is a clear difference in the arrogance of post-modernity in the post-modern sciences and the issue of assimilation and what I experienced and would’ve been good, I think the massive assimilation integrated lower stages around orange/Green and Green/orange which is better for the world, yet also causes stronger regresses if these systems are not active, and post-modern to integral sciences are very hard in contrast to stage orange mathematics, I am a bit shocked I had such advanced classes if someone creates an entire book, and he won’t touch neuroevolution most likely, and these self-learning topics he hints at, that are re-engineered, I feel as if the underbelly of America moved me out of the interest and at the sametime it corrupted it, it was as if faith fights against faith.

I never felt so bad in a lecture, I would’ve done better with pure LLM work, even though it can be mathematically more rigorous, it’s not as memory and code based skill driven. I don’t know what to think, this reignited my passion a bit, currently the world is at war with these topics, or at an arms race, and I don’t know who is right, I will listen to the book, science will make many mistakes what I don’t enjoy is how neccessary post-modern facilities are, and how grateful I am to have visted those, even if others thing orange/umber facilitities might be better, as you get less rank, more green/blue drives, and it legit depends on your families level of interest, there are some advantages to pure orange modules, facilities and universities, yet I don’t have that luxury even the most basic facility will be post-modernly led, and this is quiet good.

At times I forget how good, as I partially was working like an integralist imo, yet I was pulled down by green also in my environment, and had to also mull over these topics and pockets, as they just sort of swapped over and I somehow had issues with the level of fake moralism and self-serving skepticism within my family, that will be there anytime and is also very active in stage green, they will deconstruct everything in order to maintain their power if it does not fit their freedom, survival and tribal kinship based on partial gaia perspective, I think even people who enjoy astrology are more cosmos-centric, and a post-modern scientist this day and age will get lost in names, majority priviledge stemming from white centrism, and the few rare social sciences (psychologist are very bad imo currently the worst form of humans for higher issues, they don’t work and are dangerous always have been imo, maybe a few not, yet many are dangerous, they don’t know enough about biology).

I don’t know I see positive signs, in the end, what shocks me is the level of soul-integration and the issue with holistic health and all of this science hatred, and regression, I never had the priviledge to be a degenerate in this space, I really faced good people doing good work, even if it is not the top of the top.

Meanawhile, I was considering how to integrate and use what I learn, I do feel as if though I am using my Eating God archetype to heal myself in addition to the endless Indirect Ressource insights, and I feel I am at the cutting-edge of observing this, and finding the right mythic/rational patterns, to engage with this MBTI etc. I read the neuroscience version the FBI agent recommends even you can find on YouTube, I am partially done with it, the point is my type would be already oriented towards god.

Ken Wilber is a goat blade archetype, hence I do him ill at one point, and I bet my writting caused already issues to some level of credibility, yet I was extremely distressed with what is and was happening, and the projections I find works the best dealing with sp/so notions of reality, that entire space is now open to enjoy, due to working with this archetypes, from the enneagram due to BaZi.

I did not get into indian astrology, the more conscious I become the more these archetypes help with subtle hick-ups at stages that can be pointer to leverage the energy higher. Yesterday I noticed how many kinks there are in my energy, due to the scar at my body, and I don’t know it’s not good, I really crave a more advance tribe or society, yet it’s tricky to get, and the mastery aspect by archetype, I could work more deeply into and onto one thing, yet the notion of this changed, it’s very similar to what I felt with Ken Wilber when I saw him for the first time, he very deeply mastered a few subjects and the humility into engaging with them, for me via BaZi the same archetypes are recommended, I am looking up the other pillars today, to get a more holistic view

Medieval Europe: 1000 Years in 20 Minutes

I leave this here I might want to watch this later.

The Islamic World: 1000 Years in 18 Minutes

This also might be interesting, I had so many friends from regions of this, I even bought books to educate myself, yet it often ended in modern fuckery, and the issue of why post-modernity usually seeks groups and I spin networking gross-reflective. Till it’s a shadow.