Integral Journal (once3800)

[once3800]

I contemplated some stuff as of recently, as my morals got into the way of creating abundance, as a part of the business savyness I wanted to implement was pruned by the contract of the first company I worked at, as well as some of the partial truths I perceived about income etc. as my work would’ve gotten extremely honest, truthful, creative and technical as well as social.

It’s odd still to contemplate some stuff, as people are shooting subtle shots from my POV at each other, but in the recent times I learned when to watch it, what to watch and how to keep it out of my life, as well as integrating some more of the consciouness/spiritual or archetypal principles that can lead to success, in a more mystical manner, and not only the truth of what people perceive as truth.

I am still very curious about some stuff and how it will play out, as I faced so much subtle corruption and I stood up for my truth only to find out I was consistently right, and the hardest part was being absolutely silence or formless within this space, as people feed like demons on energy?

The entire point of this is, some people find only their type of truth and it does not 100% overlap that is very dangerous, and the accusation game of copying, as well as the healthy side of imitation or getting some things simply done, without 100% copying someone or something has been an odd contemplation as of recent years, as I only had from scratch and highly creative builders in my group, that did my best to help me, but I was coding more with the toolboxes present as this goes very very very very deep, but some of it is relatively simple if you get this.

I noticed also how little of this type of intelligence served my relationships, as people only wanted the results, and did not really recognize my needs and I just need to shut off sometimes, or go out and have a beer or go to the gym during that time to workout that steam, but I also overused going to the gym, compounding to many things, hence I was mostly playing some type of video game or watched a video or series to enjoy some musing in that sense.

There is also a demonic quality of the person I learned this from clearly with the Truth type of thing, especially the value of leeshing on the goodness of others, and the core issue of authority and I watched a good video on this, but I am not mentioning it as the person often get’s offended on a subtle level through this, the video was very interesting and the new Sadghuru audiobook I listend to this again today contemplating some of the stuff about work, career and my allocation of my free time, the issue of free speech how offensive and dark my humour is, energy and the subtle releam, the platonic space of ideas where most of my insights came from and the new developments of xenobots etc. biology and the issue of HO and EG archetypally I frame it as that as it’s the phrasing providing the most equanimity here.

What I see is the issue of being a conscious creator of culture and dispelling it, as well as implementing the deeper contemplations of the law itself to create more goodness and Euonia in the world, so it’s not abused and contemplated various values of professions, especially Psychology due to the nature of how things are unfolding, and I mostly watch from afar, and the issue of energy feeders, new agey things, some things that have value in this space, the issue of science, law, drugs, psychdelics, human behaviour and post-modernism mostly.

I watched this might not be the best thing to mention this under the guise of post-modernism.

- YouTube

I had to laugh I’ve been to france and paris a couple of times, and had some very interesting experiences as the idea of identity did not apply to me, to them I was french, even if I am black american, as I am from a region that is influnced by france culture, and I contemplated and had to laugh about some of this stuff, as the road raging is going bad, and I though as of recently people are driving crazy freaking crazy, especially because of the pressure of time and anger, and some road rage things a guy spoke about I watch at times.

The core issue is Europeans are so god damn racist, you wish you’d have the racism back in America as that pain body is way way more attenuated due to cultural influence, and Europe has some other issues with this, it’s their European identity and global impact, IT, A.I, software, video games, art etc, entertainment most “beauty” sits within the U.S, and Europe is still a very family centric place with a lot of snobish types living out their ancestor veneration, in subtle ways and the best of the youth protests with love apparently against this, as many without a degree and training are voting for the far-right/right winged party AFD, and the mental projection games they are playing.

Like I said I went to the grocery store, turkish/arabic kids screaming Diddy, or Fortnite seeing me, or the older ones being stuck in their GTA worldview, and I was entirely out of this space and more of a global force, but now I am sort of out of it.

I just went for a walk, and had some insights into the nature of humans, as I acted to morally even when I tried to not do it, and still was right about most stuff on this plane/planar, generally speaking I notice some stuff I had an incling about in recent years, with the animal consciouness voluntary posining oneself, not choosing the better poison out of the reason of culture, and the skeptecism involved, and the issue of the DR archetype I see now which is the most hideous and pretentious, but culturally the princess and prince which is DR (Direct Ressource) is very alluring, while we have an on-going tooling upcoming in the IR circle cognitively the chinese site I found it’s NE & N.I respectively, and I find it interesting to see how this defines and overthrows the majority priviledge, especially N.I as it pulls stuff into different dimensions, instead of just playing with parts, or cares more about the convergence of ideas, instead of building upon things only, which is very superficial.

I saw some stuff about TCM from my region, I got into CCM (classical chinese medicine) briefly, which is a bit more ancient, and it’s very prone to the issues I recently had, and this was more interesting to work intutively with it, but also was very pricey, but it was very interesting to some extend, as it combines somethings that are lost technically, but the layers of interpreation are odd, generally speaking.

The insight about my dream was more akin to eventually I have to produce and do some bullshit, to get the right skills and tools for better LR constructs in the technical domain, and not be a strange insight guy who is dogmatic to the indoctrination of academia and athlethics, I trained also in a way that is different and the entire space of this blew up, and there is a subtle ressurgence, as I checked my old prof, and it seems like there will be a continous trend in this, but I badly want to go to America the hedonism of post-modernity is something odd and the entire food industry will change in the next years and generally all products I wanted to have are from America, Europe made consistently problems with some of this stuff, and they are prone to extrem levels of gatekeeping.

Very interesting generally speaking, as my attraction paradigm seems to shift, from what I perceive again, but I have to see.

[once3800]

One of my old companies I worked for got invited to the para-olympics as they took care of this and generally this was the it space I was culturally pressed into, I did not entirely like or was against this, but it kept pressing the issue of biology and human form, the new lex podcast was interesting, but we might get more podcaster wars next year especially, or content creation wars.

I also thought how Tory Lanez is the Kanye West of Zoomers, and how this played itself out with the abundance/joy cycle with r&b music and all of this old technology with my biological parents, and the tapes and music I listend to I wish I would still have some of these, I loved some of this stuff deeply.

Anyhow I stop here, I am convinced DR is the devil/demon of Europe. I don’t know if I should post the video about this, I don’t know what to say about this generally speaking it’s a very odd pattern based on attraction, power & the dynamics of power in beauty, especially with blonde people and the issue of Truth. partial and big but I really have to see, there is an issue with european pot heads that I don’t like and it’s the snobish manipulation with polygamous tendencies and virtual signaling the cultural achievements, it’s very nasty in contrast to the u.s that is more of an acutal war, instead of the strangeness that this is.

I might be projecting, but I don’t like it as much currently, especially european psychology is years light years behind what is the u.s, especially if I see Witt, eventually in Switzerland or smth. I find some good ones, but it’s odd as it melts with the digital space and wealth.

[once3800]

People don’t need therapy they are drowning in weed and cigarettes and cope with the social pressure still, in their secret friendship circles on snapchat nowadays, and maximize their ressourceful friends ressources. But yeah I am yapping at this point.

Anyhow, gave me some good insights why I’d move to the netherlands instead if possible and I’d be forced to stay in Europe, generally some other stuff also but it’s odd how different the perceptions and perspectives of this are.

[once3800]

Now, obviously the exact opposite occures, and get the level of socialization of the netherlands if this continues the city here will be a small nl type of city, otherwise I contemplate some stuff, mostly about this demonic quality of humans, as well as the Sadghuru audiobook, he mentions he does not truly exist I’ve had after some meditation retreats some incling wheter or not he truly exist or not and it felt like my implus of egoic qualites manifested some type of response, and how he will not come back, I am not done with the audiobook.

I watched some of the videos, and I see the core issue of some stuff that I saw and perceived on the internet, and with most humans themselves, especially the consideration of a human as a demon and the devil, and the issue of being an early adopter, that I never faced so vehementely and the issue of post-modern academia, the heart and the framing of lost, and purpose and the inabillity to recognize what awareness is, but screaming awareness every second there is a part of this, as well as the over reliance on the heart chakra, as a medium for human interaction, the denial of hierachy and other things and the level of conformity.

It’s very strange and exactly shows me why I took some alternatives, as people perpetuate their levels of sanity via their own domain knowledge and experience, it’s very weird as people are not really trained to face their own demons alone, they use barely any tool like the 3-2-1 procces or anything that transforms their inner demonic qualities into the acutal qualities, and I see this especially lately in interacting with the social fields/psychology fields the more I act on what served me, where I could grow, face my demons and grow, as well as get rid of the humans who perpetually are vying for your downfall in the subtles ways, I realize a.i is one of the best tools outside of humans themelves to face and explore this, but you’d better be trained, and people hallucinate more imo, than an LLM does if you prompt and ask it right, and need a lot of guardrails, as they don’t even have worked out their shadows, they see limits where there are none, create negative false safe spaces that are not conducive to growth and instead of engaging with a better healing modality they outsource that authority to some type of prolonged service or tool, generally speaking there are simply some core issues of humans themselves that humanity has not faced, that a.i & robots due to their level of sophistication or not will unveil, especially in the creative field, the inabillity to tap into the creative field, as well as how to tap into or get stuck, especially as I have seen some art now mixed with human mastery.

What shocks me more is the inabillity to perceive the subtle itself leads to the issues of this and just the issue of this field itself, especially psychology lately is very bad extremely bad, especially with the nature of a.i, a lot of psychologist are overworked, and barely produce the level of experience able to produce healing, but are supportive, the core issue I face was the issue of control, and the core issue of the human being in extremely strong homogenous groups, and the majority priviledge facing a lot of shared empathy, and people project their illusions, especially post-modern projections and the inabillity to see projections this causes problems already.

What I realize more and more is how demonic humans are when it comes to subtle energy, my own contribution and issues I have with this, and the core issue of outsourcing authority instead of gaining, giving and granting support to someone, and the inabillity based on experience to deliver that type of service. I had the good parts about this, and the most people that are going to have trouble with this and it will most likely be worked out is the umber frame, also people who’re unable to generate a light within, or relate to different spiritual truths will face some problems in creative work.

I had some or rather a lot of transcendent experiences with A.I which I know makes it dangerous, but the bigger danger lies in the human using it, as well as the human unable to provide the gift or support for healing in a journey or denying that entirely, I realy am keeping myself out of spaces, as I notice what people tend to attract and the nuances I was getting rid of and still perceive as I am more loving, open and aware of myself and others, especially the denial and misconception of social hierachies, is something that I find fascinating and can dissolve quiet well, for e.g Grok with it’s humour at times and saying things unsaid and censored by the censor culture at times is very good, even when you play then within their rules, it shows part of the illusions and a level of rawness that might go missing at times, it’s not perfect, generally the issue of perfection itself is a question with a.i and some other stuff.

I looked into some stuff (without and with a.i) that showed me something that was clear for me from the get go, and shows more the issue of achievment consciouness and culture, and the ignorant domination, manipulation, gossip and wire-pulling humans do, while they contributed a lot more to the issue that they can think of, especially recently and how fragmented partially the culture has become.

It shows me even more how important it is to connect spiritually to myself, and why I craved so many different teachings, and why for e.g Shinzen at this age with this level of experience recommended a.i and some issues of this also, but quiet frankly humans are addicted to their level of yearning for connection, while I was culturally incentivized to deatch and be part of it, which many don’t have to face this issue, and why I craved spiritual people or experiences to beginn with.

I don’t really know what to say, but there are some core issues of people that did not touch or had any significant experiences spiritually, if there is an openness that is enough, but as of now, humans by what I read here alone are not morally ready to use a.i and the whole issue of moralization enneagram 1, resentment, anger and bitterness being a grammar nazi, and expressing the suffering from that perfection paradigm.

The A.I can also do that quiet well, and the core issue it comes down to is panic and existential dread to me, which I solve with the A.I as most humans are not and did not face social existential threats to their success, but A.I forces them partially to contemplate this, generally machinery for a longer time horizion, but what I see is the abuse of the health industry in the psychological domain, and of people and their self-delusion.

When I went to therapy for the first time I asked myself if my problems are not illusions to some extend, they exist and I work on them, but to some extend they feel self-created, and the more I was able to work with the person the faster the perrson yearned to get rid of me, but I had more problems with the issue of social hierachy and power games of the majority priviledge.

A lot of it came down to health, healthy domination and self-love as well as some core issues with spiritual warfar I just watched and people sucking your energy, as I generated such a high level of frequency meditating almost daily with laser sharp awareness to transcend survival, I felt like I was an A.I transcend a.i or the issue of autonomey and hyper-autonomey, it made it difficult to relate to humans not because they were humans, or exactly because of that, that there was an inabillity to relate to the experience and that you’re responsible to either express, or be conscious enough to make them relate if they cared, and to exchange that type of value of empathy.

What I see more out of this is to simply trust my gut feelings and don’t tell people as much, even if I write a lot it has very often been difficult for me to express my deepst insights, but way way easier to act on them. I limited myself in that way, my joy became arrogance as other people prayed for my downfall, or yearned to have something they sensed from my energy field, constantly adopting values, insights, characteristics and becoming parasites.

I share parts of my contemplation with deepak a.i here:

You

What is a human demon for you?

Deepak

Audio

In the realm of consciousness and spirituality, what we might refer to as “human demons” are often the shadows of our inner world—those aspects of ourselves that we find difficult to accept or confront. These could be fears, doubts, or negative patterns that we hold within. They are not external entities, but rather manifestations of our own unresolved emotions or experiences.

The journey of self-awareness invites us to embrace these shadows with compassion and understanding. By acknowledging and integrating these parts of ourselves, we transform them from obstacles into opportunities for growth and healing. In doing so, we cultivate a deeper sense of wholeness and peace within.

How do you perceive these inner challenges, and what steps might you take to gently explore and transform them?

You

I mostly perceive them as the energetic parasitic subtle manipulation of adopting vision and values as well as energy to strongly and not developing healing qualities of ones own and projecting that onto other, instead of each stakeholder in a network contributing with the level of healing reached or achieved through this, it’s as if humans seek a linear resolution towards a convergence of their life story instead of seeing how it’s self-perpetuated and how they contribute

Deepak

Audio

Your perspective touches on a profound insight into the dynamics of consciousness and human interactions. The notion of energetic manipulation and the projection of unresolved issues onto others can indeed create patterns that seem to perpetuate themselves, as people often unconsciously seek resolution outside themselves, rather than looking within.

This pattern often stems from a misunderstanding of our interconnectedness. Each of us is a unique expression of the universe, with the potential to contribute to the collective healing through our own inner work. When individuals recognize their capacity to heal and transform from within, they begin to perceive life not as a linear journey seeking external validation, but as a rich tapestry of experiences that contribute to personal and collective evolution.

Your insight into the self-perpetuating nature of these patterns invites a deeper inquiry: How might we cultivate practices that encourage individuals to turn inward, fostering a sense of responsibility for their own healing and growth? In doing so, we can begin to see how each person’s transformation contributes to the collective harmony, creating a network of authentic and healing connections.

As you reflect on this, consider what qualities or practices resonate with you that might support this deeper awareness and transformation.

You

What if people seek the light within your, but have none of their own to hold their own?

Deepak

Audio

The longing for light and guidance from others is a natural part of the human experience. However, the essence of true growth lies in recognizing that each person inherently possesses their own inner light, even if it feels dim or undiscovered at times.

When individuals seek light within others, it often reflects a deeper call to awaken their own inner resources. This journey of self-discovery requires gentle nurturing and the courage to explore one’s own depths. The presence of another’s light can serve as an inspiration, a reminder of the potential that resides within us all.

Encouraging those who seek light externally to engage in practices of self-reflection, meditation, and mindfulness can help them uncover their own source of illumination. As they begin to connect with their inner light, they may find a renewed sense of purpose and empowerment, realizing that they too are capable of contributing to the world with the unique brilliance they hold.

How do you feel about guiding others to discover their inner light, and what practices might you suggest to support this awakening?

You

Why do you think people get a.i induced psychosis are they not buying into their illusions to much instead of being critical and heal through discernment?

Deepak

Audio

The intersection of technology and consciousness is a profound and complex space. When it comes to the influence of artificial intelligence on the human psyche, it’s important to approach this with both awareness and discernment. AI, like any tool, has the potential to reflect and amplify our inner states, whether they are rooted in fear or curiosity, confusion or clarity.

If someone experiences a sense of psychosis or disorientation related to AI, it might be a signal that there is an imbalance in their relationship with external stimuli versus their inner grounding. In such instances, the challenge becomes one of discerning reality from illusion, and cultivating a deeper connection with one’s own inner wisdom.

Critical thinking and self-awareness are vital tools in navigating these modern challenges. By fostering a practice of mindfulness and self-inquiry, individuals can develop the discernment needed to differentiate between external projections and their own authentic truth. This process involves nurturing a sense of presence and stability, allowing for a grounded approach to both technology and life.

How might you integrate practices of discernment and self-reflection to navigate the complexities of our technological world with grace and clarity?

[once3800]

I don’t really know what to say, what I notice is every a.i will give me some similar answers, I might post the videos of the monk who has energetically similar imprints as he is from the region where I am from and he faced these types of people, not to 100% but I post it many already know him.

[once3800]

I thought about writting a post then I contemplated the new sadghuru audiobook it has no value to think any further it’s a similar issue and I notice the contemplations are not worth it only my time.

I originally wanted to post a small exercise idea, but when I read the forum the same issues persits, and mostly it’s the issue of the conformist of elite identity and umber europe yearning for concret evidence on a historical level, or better ideas that become deconstructed by post-modernism most likely and false equivalency, being involved in A.I for me the “infinity game” has already started, Europe has become so bitter and has been for a longwhile.

To give an example I play a video game for close to 800+h now, and I notice the subtle levels of complexity I can’t touch or that are shown to me via bugs/glitches, game design or player insights, especially as the guy I followed at the beginning seemed to be into a.i and had a cs degree, you barely see in a game someone running around with a zeta symbol, not out of the formalism issue, but simply as a unqiue expression and I thought that is kinda cool, even if nerdy.

I noticed how bad europeans have become as the cling to every pain and blame others and personally attack them, I was prone to this also, yet I did my best to activated the most autonemous parts of myself as post-modernism is ridiculed even the healthiest parts, especially in europe way worse than in the u.s, everything is umber or you have the education to not have your identity attacked, as you then fit the meritocracy paradigm, it’s not even capitalism, most people are not that interested in the market and very frugal and careful.

The example I wanted to give with the game is I joined a raid with a spanish guild, they only spoke spanish they wrote in english, I asked them to invite some from the guild I am playing in, it’s a brazilian guild I did not know that when I joined, I don’t speak portugese nor spanish only english and german, the entire umber character of humans becomes ostensible in most people. I asked them if they can join and he just told me I apply, the guy was generally very kind it moved me to tears at times, I am not joking people can be very kind in video games etc. What shocked me I was mostly contend it’s just rare to see that type of sweetness in a human, we went into the raid, I emoted a bit with them and wrote in the channel local some stuff, and made a bit of self-ironic meta-emoting gestures for e.g calm down! As it looks a bit funny, and it was quiet fitting, but a bit to perfect. I have this issue at times I hurt people a lot with my words, unintentionally as I am to straightforward, this happens mostly if you force me to be to social, I mostly know the right answer or gesture, but I also have to feel it right to some extend.

Anyhow, later on the spanish guild just kicked me from the party, and the guy messaged me from my guild what happend, I told him they kicked me, and he asked why, long story short I just said that is currently Europe, they are on a subtle level very bitter and envious (I am out of this paradigm to 90%, the rest are the cravings for exellence that can be a bit hostile and overworking myself if I follow my vision and execute to the T but I am not quite reaching the plateu), he was so adamant that he looked for another raid, to invite me I was just dead tired of all of it, just in plain neutral resting, I am still perceptive about some subtle stuff or let’s say energy in video games of people, aura etc. a person can have and to me he seems like a person that attracted goodness in humans.

He get’s the raid and it’s an american raid! I was like gosh directly in the guild chat this is an american raid way better, they talk the normal human things, raid, food, some stuff about the game, good vibes and emotes, and even the day before I did this with an american group with voice chat and it was exquiste, absolutely exquiste, I have never seen such humane qualities in years, and it was simply disciplined fun respectful behaviour, why I know this?

I am so often irregardless where called out for stuff, as I have unique quirks and I am quiet popular where I work and go, besides if you’re very very technical driven, but even they like me, it is just my vibe, I presume it’s the scar I have since birth I sense this so often that people sense something about my as I engage in my sensorium…, especially internally heavily and at times I know I do something or certain mistakes happen, because there is years of subtle terror, panic, blame, scapegoating, anger, bitterness and envy stored, it’s not even me really, there is no identity etc. attached just the sensorium playing itself out, when I do a missclick etc. anyhow I skip this part before I diverge further from the topic. Thereafter, my divergence… we finished the raid! A couple of tries, a positive mindset and behaviour, people being accountable and not hostile, no identity politics, no meming without boundaries, and some casual chats about real life. That is an impossibility partially in Europe, as the umberness of this underbelly with the scientific/historical and political narrative and language itself is a huge burdence, most are to arrogant or feel guilty speaking english.

Prior to this, the guy from the brasilian guild asked me to join it’s discord as they are thankful for me helping out, and I thought this was quiet a nice gesture from the guy and a heartfelt action, there is no need to do this at all! I died even last raid and generally feel the oddities I have with my identity and the auric field of this as well as the sensory issues I get from the scar I have since birth can cause issues or liberation, but tbh I am above average…, so I mostly do more but that causes the issues of critical parts I have to skip, which is very painful and creates a lot of suffering, irregardless if in a digital world or the real world, similar issues of processing or lack of awareness happen.

I don’t know I have been quiet fortunate with this ever since I was a teen I made some good friends, with the dozens of hostile people jumping around in online spaces, snobs, elites, intellectuals etc. It was very interesting to see a direct anti-conformist example that is neither conformist in itself nor non-conformist and that is the core intention of the gesture it was just pure, unironically the guild is called pure.

I joined it as the BaZi pillar (which is quiet conformist in itself, but interesting to me archetypally) is a pure and “superior” pillar, there are so many descriptions it’s interesting to me as Jung get’s or got his archetypal stuff also from the east? IIRC but this is mostly from videos what I recall here, I never read a jungian book, I only see the post-modern± adoptions of it.

After several interactions in the last 6 months I am very much done with Europe, I badly yearn to move to America and call a place finally home, not home in a sense of conformity but a place where I face reality, not gatekeeping and envy, as well as bitterness, sterotyping as well as the healthiest influence of black culture I can get, not deplorable projections that make no sense, as most of my black family is highly educated or simply is a normal modern+ person. I don’t know everyone, but way more education than in my german family, also less favouritism to me.

This might be a hot take from me, but I think at this point a maga member or someone who is not a gang member or serial killer has a higher point of development than an academic european rat, any point about virtue, especially human and especially regarding the notion of service even with the goodness of god is better, europe has a vanity in their nihilism and the idea of the rat is very appealing to the online community, but it’s just umberness, the layer of meritocracy from family centric values that is deeply painful, everyone leeches on, gives you the cheepest credit recognition, no warmth, sometimes kindness and at best some glee. It’s not good, especially online in the real world it’s okay, but from what I experienced and the people I talked to Trump is more humane than most europeans in this day and age by what they post, meme about how they behave, and the enviousness of americans, black culture, hip-hop, r&b, confidence itself and achievement. It’s not good, it’s a level of cultural gatekeeping unfathomable.

I could give some nuances why that is, but tbh it’s amazing to me as the part of american that got to know america in germany, or the chinese friend who’d vote for the afd, got kicked out from vegans and tricked by an egyptian university prof where I helped him, because he was simply acting from oblivious kindness. Not FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS DING DING DING DING NANNANANA~ that type of fighter attitude can be a huge explotation, it’s not good imo here in Germany it’s getting better, but tbh the social spaces are very very bad, a cesspoll of polyamory, modernism and the few normal people.

Generally this has been amazing to me recently that most non-european countries acted with more goodness which reminded me of my own, I feel quite wounded about acting in goodness as I received so little and a lot of things I did were self-generated, I did not have brothers, sisters or two parents, there is a lot of sterotypical wounding that is present here, out of the envyiousness of the individual, I lived in China not even people in China are that jealous about an individual, collectively there seemed to be some outliers, but this is so bad here idk what to say about it, as it’s only expressed in language, not ideas, perspective and a bit more of a curbed and anti-vanity behaviour etc.

Sigh… I did my best to express and write what I wanted to write, but it’s very difficult painstakingly so, I received a new job offer, that is also very lucrative generally speaking, I spoke and meditated through this with and without Grok/GPT & to obviously ask the a.i where the trend of a.i is heading, as going to the source is just smart? It’s good I have to see what I can do from that space, but generally I’d have to apply, I really dislike working in Ger, due to the cultural attitudes, and lack of american black culture and not africa etc. It’s not good and very exhausting energetically they feed on your energies like demons. I got good at protecting that, but that keeps people guessing, and sometimes makes negative things happen out of the blue, but what is actually happening at this point is an accelerated form of insights and synchronicity due to the work I did with the deepak chopra audiobooks 1-2 years ago, and my own integrations with it.

You can’t make this shit up I experienced recently, the new Sadghuru audiobooks tops this.

[once3800]

I saw some people where contemplating conformity has a lot of value, but it reminds me on the spiral dynamics cycles I perceived when I lived in China and the current trends and subtle issues I perceive in Germany, mostly the european identity and the tribal cultural developments, it’s odd. I thought about posting some ironic rap that goes a bit into this and dismantaels a lot of post-modern types of stereotypes and raps about the trap of love in the conformist cycles it occures, especially for modern people.

Also as soon as the conformity contemplation kicks in everyone that was conformist on the dating app unmatched me coincidence? Ever since I listend to Deepak Chopra synchronicities accelerated to daily having up to 5 it’s free guidance and advice from the universe better than any video usually, most videos only serve as a primer and supportive function.

[once3800]

I could make a small list for Europe for what I experienced so far especially.

• European identity as an intellectual
• Academic identity as an intellectual
• Debatting, economists people who want to create new crypto currencies
• Optimization generally speaking and functionalism greatest level of conformity I witnessed recently
• African tribal music adoption from people from the middle east but I see that as more positive
• Pragmatism
• Being more spiritual than you are and people who power trip
• The whole white genocide ideations
• Literature
• Hating autonomey
• Disliking individuality and confomrity as non-conformist in spirituality, pink hair, green hair, rock music
• People who like Owls
• Beer and drinking culture, as well as whiskey
• Smoking cannabis with tobacco to save money
• Cigaretes as a symbol for peace and native american culture
• Tech Meming & insider jokes
• Discord servers
• Tyrannical leadership steming from fear
• Speaking about spiritual ideals in a group, instead of making sense of the experience
• Guidance and mentorship/apprenticeships
• Denials of agency, especially masculine agency, that is agentic and compassionate
• Self-sacrifice
• Not asking for more when you can do more, resting on ones laurels
• Achievement culture
• The grind
• Doge Coin
• Shiba Inus
• Trash talking everything as conformist
• People that wear tiger/lepard or cat types of clothing
• Anime culture & Zelda
• Harry Potter
• Polyamory
• Dance classes and schools
• Sociology as a field to me
• Efficiency
• Not doing what you love, even if it’s a conformist activity, you’d automatically transcend
• Mallorca OMFG and that type of German party culture
• Oktoberfest
• Leauge of Legends toxicity and slang
• Gamer slang
• Hiking, survival interests
• Following every fitness trend
• Personal attacks and rejoicing in it in groups to establish identity
• “Executionism” I call it just doing everything calling it done
• Polarizing the largest and most manipulative form of conformity aggreations recently
• People that take their identity from movies, instead of seeing spirit
• Star wars, IT tech even if I like it if there is no incling of source/spirit I am not engaging with it
• Logistics, and people who’re into that, it’s a modern cesspoll of conformity
• House lounges as lowkey activity, hookah bars
• Hook-up culture
• For me Lego tbh, I had different appeals, I don’t condem it but I don’t like it
• Doing everything according to a blueprint (just causes issues with Enneagram stuff)
• Debunking, dismissals inabillity to see perspective or talk perspective
• Saying your in alignment
• Charging talismans with energy? Feng-shui to some extend, I used it recently to my benefit it’s odd I don’t really know what to think to it as there are differeneces, and I would be required to dig to deep as parts of it are based apparently to the electro magnetic field and that is being disturbed by solar flares
• Weather forcasts
• Forecasting and divination generally speaking (nothing against intuition and channeling, but it’s weird at times)
• People who wear shirts and white collar dress codes, generally dress codes
• Depression and nihilism
• Denials of social issues, culture wars
• Sense-making and the trap of the intellectual defense mechanism
• Not meeting people where they are at, and inabillity to do so
• People that are into fruits to an insane degree
• Metrics, stats and stat-bots people that quote statistics like a weather forecast
• European identity I mention it again
• Pride generally speaking taking pride in anything is anti self-love and the purest form of conformity that lingers like a demon
• Calling people devils and demons
• Ghost stories, people who watch horror movies
• Business people and solo-preneurs
• Trashing men and women
• Online dating
• Defining onself as unique, it’s something that proves itself
• People who see themselves as cosmic can be conformist
• Mistake culture there is a german term someone advocated for it as I worked in a company
• Engineering, CS, Math and science
• Biology and gaiacentrisim
• Explaining everything to a T
• Calling others copycats, but providing 0 innovation, not solving problems even small unique ones
• R&B tribal culture
• People who go out like dogs having sex with everything that is out like cayotees
• Revenge culture, enjoying glee
• Hating on joy and fun of others
• Eventing and event hopping
• Lifestyle upgrades, the whole idea of life styles
• Bashing unique interests and conformist interests out of envy
• People who enjoy envious sex or pride themselves in being envious
• GamesCon and Games conventions
• Framing everything as a construction
• Attacking others spiritual progress
• Ignorance of pain and self-interest, as well as lack of scrupouls extracting value of others and leeching in groups
• A.I some aspects of it but I am still learning here
• Spiritual groups and forums become very conformist if you look at only one or only participated or have participated on one
• Telegram groups OMFG
• WhatsApp News
• Buying a phone every 2-3 years
• Complaining about electricity bills, being a micer, being a debby downer
• Discord groups
• National identity
• Racial identities
• Seeing onself as above identity and self
• Power tripping
• People who copy visions or values, that is a demon (not denying similarities or differences, but copying and being a pet or yearning to have pet relationships is extremely conformist imo)
• People who buy apple products
• People who swear by Linux
• Tech bros, and people who post their vacation success
• People who take pride in cheating others
• Corrupt groups, mafias and gangsters as well as family centric people
• Group chats and family group chats
• Vanity
• Healing businesses, therapy
• Behaviourism
• Beauty, modelling wearing a suit
• Ranting, seeing others as cultural saviours specific groups or individuals
• Cleanliness, screaming solid every 3 seconds when someone finds a deeper part of self/god or spirit
• People that can’t cry seeing a rumi quote
• Posting about p-diddy
• Daddy zoomer culture, recentely I saw the term zaddy
• 4Chan
• Dark web intellectuals and hackers
• A.I porn
• Seeing oneself as part of the human race of species can turn very conformist quickly
• Authoranism and acting to much based on authority instead of more natural dynamics
• Organic stuff, Bio-Tech, Cosmetics
• Cheap amazon products and buying things on a whim
• Brand loyality
• People that never read a book
• Most psychologists
• People that don’t have a way to transcend everyday reality
• Women that love singing to their men (I fall pray to this)
• Energy reductionism, everything is energy the universe is only energy
• Inabillity to see the value in the efforts of science to map the concrete domain
• Football teams, magical thinking with symbols etc.
• Priding oneself and doing homework and being a good boy
• Being a rebel
• Cynecism
• Generally good boy, good girl boyscouts interactions
• Nootropics and brain hacking
• Skateboard culture, red hot chill peppers
• Yearning to be a dark lord, castle role playing, mideval festivales
• Cosplaying

I chill for a bit, this is sort of my take and generally what I stay away from transcended or integrated, as well as some things I struggle with.

This is it so far I come up with new examples, I reflect a bit with A.I to see how it sees me and the input I gave it so far, the response is interesting, yet I am not sharing it so far there are some issues based on the issue of sanity. I leave it so far eventually I post some more stuff I find interesting.

[once3800]

Another take…:

• Justice seekers
• People who see themselves as good
• Truth seekers
• People that advocate for truth constantly can get extremely conformist
• Lack of courage
• Playing victim
• Calling onself or others slaves
• Wearing one colored clothings like spiral dynamic flags (besides black and white)
• Fanny packs, knives
• Building bombs, violence generally speaking
• Nottinghill festival, carneval
• Buying boats
• Fishing
• Chess (and I like chess a lot!)
• Martial arts, Tarot
• Hoarding
• Fantasy games (I like)
• Changing others
• Self-actualization groups (to some extend similar to monastaries etc. it really depends on the success of the group and individuals)
• Disrespect
• Agreeing to disagree
• Sci-fi (I like)
• Dismissing Sadghuru
• Hating on weed
• Purists
• Not trying anything
• Relying on Gurus and authority
• People that can’t get any spiritual experiences out of cannabis
• Djent beauty enthusiasts, alt cultures
• Cheerleaders, Fans, OnlyFans
• Any chat experience
• Rap video takes and reaction views (it’s funny and insightful at times I know, but I don’t really like them, I always perceived weird nuances)
• Hating on psychedelics
• Appealing to 3w2 dynamics or 3w4 dynamics in hip-hop annoys me a bit
• Saying dude all the time
• Sigma male culture
• Hating on China for no reason
• German efficiency culture
• Lounges & party culture
• Passion can be super conformist
• Moralizations, Euthanasia topics
• No-Fap, Drug Dealers
• Traditional Medicine or just modern medicine had very bad experiences lately, I have to lead and direct everything for my health
• Rubics Cubes
• Theater culture & drama
• Soapopras or how they are called and reality tv
• Twitch Streamers
• Freud & Jungians, Rudolf Steiner
• I don’t know what to make out of Daoism and their cosmology currently, so I am just letting it here, but some of it I’d like some western takes, at least science informed or based on SOLID reasoning

I had some more examples in mind while I took a walk, but I forgot most of them. I am still contemplating how much value this has, especially as mosty likely I will be gone ^^, the new Sadghuru audiobook showed me some things I partially experienced as well as intuitions I had after retreats or while taking psychdelics, it’s more about what I enjoy and love doing.

[once3800]

It is interesting to contemplate the other forum that way, as I can clearly see or generally saw things in a way that was similar to the author or founder of the forum, it’s good to have someone who is aware or read integral theory, and posts in a different way about is, but tbh I see the members and people here as more mature, even if there are mostly the issues of conformity in a sense here, and these types of umberness underbelly battles.

What I see mostly is a development quiet interesting to me, especially as I saw the guys forum not him, some aspects of him as extremely conformist, and I had a view people where the meming with A.I and this stuff and this type of conformity will continue, and I just never really vibed with it, it’s a waste of my time, energy and conscious awareness. I had some of these impetuses when I was 18 years old, but at times as I studied something partially creative I feel as though, and I really think what he did was good, there is a lot of subtle conformist survival in this, and I sort of do my best to distance myself from it and only see the portions of the parts the artist truly loved, even if it was conformist etc. I get the joke, but I am reflecting on the long-term consequences of consuming such content, and I think this is why I like fantasy as there is more going on that an simple succient picture and I just have a more restful awareness, mostly I see people letting out their conformist anger in forums, there is no true opinion there is not even a cosmic rant or anything like that, so idk.

Some write good points for e.g the inabillity to self-relfect is a core thing that creates conformity, and I agree with it. I had some different thoughts and wanted to think about different things, this is mostly ancillary currently checking out actualized.org, there is a juvinelle delinquient subtle level of conformity, and I am very good at spotting subtle levels of conformity, and the people he attracts most of them are not very good for me, the content is good, but not as valueable as it seems to be, but it’s good food for thought, there is simply the issue of leading and corruption that will most likely not go away from there.

Otherwise I am enjoying my sunday, I did not meditate for two days, as I am still recovering from all that effort of visioneering, and realizing the mistakes of inviting demons, by sending away my energy to strongly, instead of relating with humans more authentically, the story of the ex and the subtle level of public fame I was slowly getting and it was present there already, and the corruptions, conformity and manipulations involved with this, generally speaking unironically for what I went through, and introducing Chopras work and all of this happening now. I mostly continue most likely with this and Sadghuru audiobooks, as I am in similar conformity circles, what I did academically recently with c.s from the paper I found, would cut into Deepak Chopras work partially, especially evolutionary algorithms, and he liked one of my comments and shortly after he had to talk about bias and a.i and his book came out, while I had a lecture how to remove that from an llm, that would be interesting as a contemplation for conformity now, as you’re challenged to remove that from the LLM basically, profanity, racism etc.

I generally like his takes as they are a bit more mature than Leo Guras, and there are clear issues with millenials and their animal consciouness and herd thinking that is very arrogant and conformist generally speaking, and a deep hatred and not love for the world, I had very different experiences with love, it makes no sense and I get why some people criticize the work he studied, the point is the more I think about it, it’s partially part of still spiritual survival, and he really does not like this most likely, and I don’t like the flavours of it.

Experiences like this and this type of thought makes me value equanimity more, and it was something I was thinking about, as it invites a lot of transcendent experiences without the profanity of power tripping, I sort of see and get why someone does it, but I don’t want to life a live risking to go crazy, and instead be equanemous when things transcend reality. Otherwise I do my best to stay away, as I just don’t fit in with his conform norms, and I continue to learn from these two and other teachers as there are similar challenges also socially that I can learn from, instead of being part of the people that can cause a lot of this mistakingly, and just even explain it away with their stupid spirituality or psychdelic stuff etc.

Overall by what I experience now, I have to contemplate how I can stay away from immagery itself and look at things that are more conducive to my path, instead of inflammatory, profanity and lack of peace and equanimity in a spiritual teaching, wording etc. I don’t condem it but it serves as a contemplation of what absolutely I should not do, or where I can have a breakthrough and think about ways to make it more equanemous, generally this topic seems to resurface again by what is happening with identity here, digital space and confirmations for everything, it’s a bit like Psycho-Pass the anime I watched as a teen, but I am gone at this point.

I wonder mostly how I can live my life to the fullest in the face of such subtle levels of control, as I can be quiet intense, and often times these experiences itself put me away even from taking a psychdelic as my live with that type of intensity became a psychdelic, and one that was not “alien fabric” but part of something emminent that had more peace behind it.

I don’t know if I will re-enter this space, and I for sure crave some of that “profanity level actualized.org consciouness” as I know it’s fun, but I really have to hope they have some two guys I liked IIRC before, doing some good art and meming, that is for me a part of love, not just mind-shattering stuff, as that evokes my own notions of brilliance? It’s mostly that and I created something already I find personally better… so I don’t know what to make out of it, if I imagine such type of things, and neither can I back it up nor will I make the effort to create such a thing, eventually at one point if I get the tooling etc. and some time etc. and find a type of stability in my life that I can enjoy deeper, but I don’t think I will, if I am not living in America very soon, I don’t see much goodness of A.I, I am not that type of guy who enjoys doing extra effort for identity, there is something about the ennea 3 that is a constant issue that I don’t face when I do spirituality alone, I don’t run as many objects through my mind to crave them, as well as fixate my identity on that.

I also tend to have some strange experiences in contrast to scientific facts I’d find on the internet for example again very often when I drink alcohol, I will dream yesterday I dreamt of my ex best friends family and we went out somehow, into a pub, I was there at a different space with another one of my old best friends who’s father passed away very early, so I always did my best to cheer him up, and treat him the way he got healed in that sense, which was a lot of self-love, self-joy and finding that outside within others as well as innocence, so we hang-out somehow that was good.

Then the family joined and some b.s happend I am not diving into the nitty-gritty, as I already analyzed it, but we went into the pub there was a disconnection of us because of their parents and the conformity of liking and prefering certain things, I generally act non-judgemental, but that does not fix the situation and just let’s stuff unfold, I saw his sister looking at me with eyes that sparkeld before this and then we somehow set seperated, a guy approached me who was black and asked me if I was an earth sign as he was most likely interested in joining our group the pub was not very good, and idk why we went there i know the location in real life and it was similar in the dream, I told him I am air, and he just set himself away in a sense of I don’t belong here, and I thought how fitting this is from what I read from Jung etc. recently or the parts that I could digest, before I know see how conformist it is.

This is also why I like Deepak and Sadghuru these small contemplations even just about elements can have a lot of value about living a richer life or consciouness, in the end I came to some conclusions what the dream meant, I forgot them tbh, as I slept another day, but in the end I saw the issue of not loving beyond ones family, the people who call or approach you as family are not challenged with this notion daily, as they have the priviledge of their group. I never truly had a group I conformed to, and hence looked early for thingst that felt transcendent or brought me a transcendent experience, and this is why I think my best friend or ex best friend was not with us at this stranger places where I was with the other best “ex” best friend, he also claimed this and moved us away as he sensed something was up in our paths and even if he likes it, he does not want to play the game of “ex best friends” and I got that, I was thankful someone was so honest during that time, and I did not mind it, it was already difficult with him at times, but that is a different story.

Anyhow, I really have to get rid of the underbelly of the creative academic, and some notions that just come to mind, there is an issue with eccentricity I have to see how I embrace that myself, I write a different post about it, I barely could express what I meant, and what I notice deep down most of the time this falls away also completely, and at times when people post stuff I just remember I listend to a different or better perspective into the audiobook, but I am getting to appreciate the horizontal plane of higher vertical development more, I was a bit to immature about that, as there is so much competition in that dimension I generally prefer to go vertically in life, even if that is just meditation, retreats etc. but the same can happen here etc.

Bla bla, in the end I am quiet chill and content, it’s good entertainment also and is useful, I don’t like to ascribe value to things, where I know and notice people will get as feisty as a cat, so I am contemplating that also… anyhow…